Redeemed
by Verrine
Summary: The situation is seen from Shion's perspective, who, after one incident that will completely change his life, decides to pack things up and find Nezumi. How will Nezumi, after four years of separation, react to Shion's sudden arrival? What could have driven Shion to this extent of going himself after Nezumi? What will happen after their meeting? Shounen-ai. M for some chapters.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of Asano Atsuko's characters.(nor Shakespeare's) ^^**

* * *

**_Prologue_  
**

_'All the world's a scene.' _ Retorted Nezumi with an overdramatic movement of his right hand. He stood stoical, thoughtful, overwhelming.

'_And all the men and women merely players'_ Came into light one outcasting voice sustained by unnatural eyes that demanded more than the given show of words.

'_And one man in his time plays, indeed, many parts' _ Nezumi turned violently so he could face the other man. They looked fiercely at each other, as if in blame, ready to jump at each other throats. But their hatred did not come into blossom from the same bud.

'_And how many would that be?'_

'_Seven ages. At first the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.' _Before Nezumi a flash of light was stirring the scene.

'_And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel. And shining morning face, creeping like snail. Unwillingly to school.' _ Nezumi saw flashbacks of a young petite boy being called soundlessly by his name. A beautiful mother, young, smiling, with her pair of grey eyes reflected in her son's.

Nezumi's contracted face softened into a sad smile.

'_And then the lover, Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress' eyebrow. ' _

The flashes vanished in the air and Shion's face stirred a weak forgotten feeling from his miserable soul. The shallow glares from a few moments ago become now scrutinizing. He imagined Shion's smile, then his childish way of handling things, the moments of tension and pain; he started to sing unconsciously in his head. Nezumi always thought one of the reason life was borish was that there was never background music to sustain the moments.

'_Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, Seeking the bubble reputation.'_

Nezumi thought of his past, of the people from his past and their senseless battle over power of controlling the human kind by abiding them to unnatural rules, it was sad, but sadder was the fact that the humans accepted it through out. A puppeteer would be a no-one without his puppets, after all. He thought of all that while Shion was telling his lines.

'_And then the justice, In fair round belly with good capon lined, With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances.' _Nezumi continued, thinking of the truth behind those words, an empty truth indeed.

'_And so he plays his part.' _Shion finished sorely.

Nezumi shot back with a inquiringly glare. '_ But there are more till the sevens meet up.' _He turned around, now facing the empty seats, as if in denial of Shion's atrocious presence. He continued his lines dramatically. "_The sixth age shifts into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide, For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in his sound.'_

'_Oh, and there is the end. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion._' Shion retorted in deep voice that demanded answer, but more than that an awful moment of granted attention.

Nezumi turned, facing Shion yet again.

'_Sans teeth' _ and his words began to crumble. His incisors and canines were unfailingly hitting the floor, even his molars were giving up. Nezumi looked puzzled, not yet horrified, but puzzled.

'_Sans eyes' _ Shion was crying blood, oozing crimson red was stumbling down his eerie face. His eyes popped out. He looked grotesque. Nezumi trembled in fear. He regarded the actor until now, but all it was about was actually _Shion_.

'_Sans taste'_ Shion's tongue become suddenly numb. Nezumi screamed in fear along with Shion disappearance as a human being.

His word was law. Nezumi understood.

'_Sans everything.' _ And as he began his life, he ended it, turning into mere dust blown by the restless wind. The words were whispers, simple matters of fact.

"Shion!"

* * *

3.35 A.M.

Nezumi glared at the alarm's clock, tears and sweat coming down his cheeks. He gazed lost and endlessly across the room, thinking. Remembering Shion after those years... he couldn't comprehend his own mind. Feeling his eyes becoming more wet he blinked, then ravished his hair with both hands.

'Damn it.'


	2. Chapter 1

**_Chapter one:_**

There were no birds chirping in the canopies, no bubbling brook, no swishing of the trees, no fragrance of the flowers, nor the comforting smell of dirt – an early winter drew on in the poor maintained city.

A wild stir of emotion coursed through my body as I reached the cold knob gripped only a few moments ago by a dozen of people rushing in and out. My composure wandered amidst my exaltation, my juvenile enjoyment of this moment. Such a strong emotion nurtured only from the simple thought of seeing you, _Nezumi_…

I felt really glad I had pursued the thought of finding you.

I pushed the door forward and found myself inside an average-sized hall. There was no one there except for a man that I thought to be a receptionist and the ticket lady (the one that checks your ticket) that gazed at me impatiently with a "what the hell are you doing?" her desperation and also my fear for a shortage in vacant seats, I wondered around a few more moments, finally reaching an agreement with the receptionist to give me a ticket for an overly raised price. With only a few minutes passed after the lifting of the curtain, I made myself comfortable on the reserved seat.

A few actors started to walk around the scene. From the speech lines and the characters' names I figured out it was none other than Hamlet, one of Shakespeare's masterpieces. Marcellus, Bernardo and Horatio were seeking the king's ghost.I was waiting impatiently and, just like a child, jumped every time a new actor appeared beneath the curtains. After the first scene ended, my hopes started to wear out when, at the very start of the second scene, a tall beautiful man crossed the first half of the stage with such lustrous elegance and an incredible confidence that, for a fleeting instant, the theater went completely mute. Nezumi was the epitome of grace and power, he was breathtaking.

"A little more than kin, and less than kind." He said tersely.

I had no idea what his words were supposed to mean, I simply stood there dumbfounded and listened to Nezumi as he drove the entire play through a teary end. Opposing Nezumi's aphotic and elegant grace, Ophelia was rather a beauty mesmerizing by virtue of her purity and wildness. Her long dark hair was floating savagely behind her small shoulders, wild flowers gliding down her hair. An eerie atmosphere clouded her every move and made her act even more glorifying. I knew her character better. She was obsessed with Hamlet, he thought of him as an example of perfection in everything. Not accepting Hamlet's humanity – his limits, his desires, and his manner of perception. It drove her to death, eventually.

But to me all these were trivialities compared to Nezumi's light on the stage. I remembered all sort of things through the play and how Nezumi's transparent nature had always satisfied my juvenile conceitedness. How many times did Nezumi clench his arm making me wince in pain and pulled me up? Again and again, countless times, from death to life, from despair to hope, from fiction to reality, I have been able to crawl up and out thanks to those fingers. Nezumi was always there, to both comfort and scold me.

The crowed of people clapped harder and harder and Nezumi made a beautiful curtsey, smiling wanly. I rose immediately from my chair as he disappeared from the stage and I rushed towards the exit.

_We have to talk. I have so many questions. I want to see closely, to touch you, to feel your eyes wrapping around mine._

I started to run as if my whole life depended on that, but it was not that easy considering the large number of people that shared the same thoughts as me. Seeing how slow came my plan around I started to panic and I couldn't help myself but push people so I could see myself out.

Catching the sight of the exit door I became even more ambitious in my plan and I pushed further, curses coming naturally from the men and women's mouths. I think even the ticket lady said some nasty things about my behavior. But did all that matter now? No, not at all.

* * *

"Ah!" I exhaled taking a large gasp of air, clutching my knees and pondering on what direction should I go next.

_Stay calm and think. How was the theater layout?_

I took a few steps and looked around and a poorly illuminated back alley's entrance immediately came into vision. It was even narrower than the theater's lobby and a few rats were squeaking around, filling the unusual silence. The noise stopped when I walked further and an eerie stillness sent a few shivers down my spine.

_Nezumi._

I was not afraid, the simple thought of seeing you kept me moving forward. Four years passed in this manner… filling my mind with thoughts and memories of your actions. How you have always comforted me in a scolding tone, always accusing me of running away of reality so to protect my delicate conscience. How many times did I impose myself to not do that, to become someone who can touch and feel reality as it is, someone you can trust and accept? I've been doing so for four whole years, what will you think of the new me who encountered much more hardships than a human being can bare?

_Will you be pleased or terrified, I wonder? _

The uproarious sound of the metallic door drew me back into the darkness. My heart skipped a beat and its loud beatings filled my ears. A rushed movement kept my eyes busy on the man that walked forward and didn't even turn his head around.

In that very moment I started to run. _To desperately run_.It's really hard to express one honest feeling ina given moment. I found it difficult to explain my sincere thoughts about my rashness; I would simply stumble in my own words.

I just run. And I caught his right sleeve. He turned around.

My grip grew stronger, while his eyes grew larger. There they were, those eyes that wrapped me in this elegant gray cloth.

"Nezumi!" I yelled, but it came more hoarsely than I intended.

I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was stunned, definitely amazed, taken aback by the shock of seeing me. Not losing my grip, I raised my left hand and touched his face. I caressed his cheek with one finger and I touched his lousy bangs of hair with the others.

No expression of happiness adorned his face. He was just perplexed.

I narrowed my eyes, wanting more than just an amateur reaction from him.

"It has been a while."

His silence fell harder on me than I thought; it felt like needles that pricked at me mercilessly. "Nezumi, say something." It was not like him to just stand and not make some smart comment.

He half-opened his mouth and let cold breath running in and out his mouth.

"Shion. " He spoke, but this was no word addressed to me, it was just his way of acknowledging my existence in that very moment.

Nezumi suddenly frowned.

"Shion." He spoke again, in an addressing tone. His eyes were alert and his expression jumped from amazement to agitation."You really _are_ such a natural."

He stripped me of all my anxious emotions and I suddenly felt comfortable in his warm presence. That _was _Nezumi.

I smiled broadly. "I haven't heard that in a while. These were also your first words when we were sixteen."

Nezumi smirked mockingly. "That's bad news for you. Not changing at all, huh? Tracking me down, coming here in person and grabbing my arm so tightly as if your life depended on that. I don't think I even _want_ to know to what extent you went to leave your so dear city and your mama, coming to the end of the world and find me." He sighed and made room to some air in his lungs. My grip grew tighter. "Seriously, Shion, let it go, it hurts. I told you already, you are stronger that you think!"

Nezumi shook off my grip immediately after I had loosened it up. What loquacity followed Nezumi's words after a show of such cruel silence! Nezumi have never been an open book. Even though I am the person whom he spent the most time with, I know nothing about him. The kind of falling into an ignorant slumber- I want to overcome the most.

That moment, I couldn't figure what Nezumi was thinking. Although his voice was devoid of any kind of emotional hints, his movements indicated agitation and flippancy;perhaps we shared the same feeling of nervousness?

Anyhow, he looked at me deeply, scrutinizingly. I waited for his remarks- I wouldn't go as far as to call it _'compliment'_ – just like a child who wanted praise and recognition.

"You've got taller." I blinked and took a few steps back, picturing him better. It was true,somehow, his head was only a few inches apart from mine.

"And your hair is longer. I would have bet you would dye it, though. "

Nezumi raised his hand and childishly played with my braided hair that rested lousily on the right shoulder.

"How could I have dyed it? You said you liked it the way it was, so I left it like that. Although, it was a bit of an annoyance when the No.6's residents saw it." I can recall even now their reaction - suspicion, fear, but also a fragrant shape of intrigue tried them.

"Hm… I bet your mama didn't share my opinion. What did she say?"

_Mother._

I suddenly felt depleted of energy. Mother rushed at me and embraced me fiercely when I returned. She cried endlessly and whispered sweet words in my ear. I don't know how many minutes passed until she was firmly convinced that I was fine, standing there, beside her, being neither an illusion of her mind nor a ghost. After that she gazed at me and asked of my hair and eye color, but at that time I simply said that it was just a small price that I paid for my mind's freedom.

I can't even remember if I told her the whole story after that, I don't even think she took too much interest in what happened in those few months… or who Nezumi actually was.

Seeing my saddened face, Nezumi stepped forward, narrowing the space between us. His posture was imposing, but his presence was warm and comforting. _The presence of another human being beside you… Nezumi's presence._

"Shion?"

"Nezumi."

"What is it?" He raised his brow inquiringly.

"I missed you." I felt my pained heart embraced by the calmness of his eyes. How blatant, how foolish of a confession it was, but it was none other than my straightforwardness.

Nezumi showed me one of his rare smiles, not mocking, not sarcastic, not nostalgic, just a simple and beautifying smile. "As direct as ever."

He turned around, put his hands in his black coat's pockets and walked towards the back alley's exit.

"Come, we'll talk more. Night is not very friendly around here."

* * *

Nezumi's haunt was not different in many ways to his rabbit hole from No.6's outskirts. Space was definitely not its strong point, but the little furniture that filled it gave away a small feeling of freshness. The varnished wood and its glittering brown made the room quite open, but also plain.

I was shocked to see not the slightest sight of a pile of old dust-covered books.

"Not reading anymore?" I asked leisurely, as for myself, but the sound reached Nezumi also.

"There is an abandoned food factory nearby where I believe to have lived some nasty bookworm. That guy has more than 2 thousands books. No one goes there, so it's like my own library."

Nezumi's voice was cold and flat. I noted in my mind to ask him tomorrow more of that place. You could find the strangest things in the strangest places, after all.

I gave another quick look around the room and other than the bed and some sort of coffee table, one dusty piece of furniture could be considered a couch, not very friendly in colors or smell. I searched unconsciously for the piano, but there was no such thing in that platitude.

"Ok, young master, stop turning your nose up at everything you see and be thankful that I picked you up. You would have frozen to death."

Truth being told, I already knew what kind of weather was expecting me if I would still have been down there, on the street, but I said none on that matter. I sighed and crushed on the bed.

Nezumi raised his eyebrow, but said nothing himself.

On the soft mattress, my body started itching and I felt drowned in exhaustion. Falling asleep didn't seem ? No, I was weary of Nezumi's presence. What if he left in the middle of the night? But I was in his house…

I sighed.

"What have you been doing? Recently, I mean."

When I looked at him again, he was already undressed from his coat and boots. He moved his eyes on me. I couldn't tell if my question was or not welcomed, but I certainty expected some kind of answer.

"Rather than what _I_ have been doing, maybe you should tell me what you're up to. Running away from home?"

"I didn't run away."

"Then? How did you find me?"

"That's quite a long story." I brushed it off. It was not that I didn't want to tell him, it was truly a long story.

Nezumi looked at me intensely, as if he wanted to see through my eyes and down to my soul. I averted my eyes for no reason.

He dropped the subject, rose from the sofa and walked through a door that led, I believe, to the kitchen.

Silence then… in which everything around me seemed to dissolve. Perhaps it was due to my tiredness, or some sort of extent of faltering. I wished to speak my mind clearly to Nezumi, but I feared his reaction the most. And there was also the fact that I didn't exactly know how to put my emotion into words that would not affect the short-living sides of Nezumi's magnanimity.

Nezumi walked back into the room and placed two mugs of tea on the night table's surface. He eyed me demandingly, but said nothing. How did I find him was a closed topic until later, so naturally, there was nothing more for him to say. I understood that, but still a few words regarding our reunion would have enlightened my mood.

_'Hm…'_

"How long have you been living here?"

"Half a year, maybe."

I jumped out of bed."For real? He nodded leisurely, ignoring my reaction completely.

"But I thought you were traveling."

He looked at me as a mother looking at her child when he asks question like "why is the sky blue?". His words followed his intentions.

"Do you think it's that easy? First of all, you need money. No money means no way to move between towns. Secondly, you need to make connections, so you could swift around easily." I listened to him as if his words were made out of secrets than only he knew about.

"I'm actually dead curious to know how the hell you have found me." Nezumi pierced me with his glare as he was languidly taking over the entire sofa's space.

Nezumi was a blunt person when it came down to criticizing, but his intentions were always well hidden. It must have hit him hard my spontaneous arrival.

"Well, naturally, I had no idea where you could have gone, not even if it was north or south, west or east. Basically, I just followed my guts."

Nezumi seemed surprised. "Your guts? I see your monkey language is worse than before. You must have been pretty desperate, really."

_'I was and I still am.'_

I fell silent, he asked. "For how long have you been traveling?"

"Half a year, maybe." I retorted.

His eyes widened. His body tensed. He was alert for a reason I could not comprehend.

He took thoughts. I just gave him an inquiring look that was treated with no answer in the end. I thought that some bell rung inside his mind, but given the fact that I had no idea of his doings in the past years, it was futile for me to think I could be of any help.

While he was in thought, I rose from the bed and grabbed one of the mugs. I slipped some tea down my throat, careful not the burn my tongue. It tasted like vanilla and yet again the feeling of warmth and comfort enraptured me limbs demanded to sit again, so I placed myself beside Nezumi. The sofa was cozy with both of us.

"My language is not that bad." I blurted.

He looked as if awaken from a deep long sleep or,more likely, as if he completely forgotten of my presence.

"You are quieter, for one example."

"Well, it's not like I haven't had a good conversation for more than half a year." I pointed sarcastically.

"You are that kind of mindless and meddling person who would talk to anyone of anything. I can't picture you going to a person and simply ask and leave. "

"You think I didn't change a bit in four years?"

He wanted to say something, but stopped half through. "There are two things that a human can't change: his desires and his character. Being overly good to anyone and thoughtlessly ready to give them a hand is just you and that's it."

I wondered about that.

"Well, I must admit that this journey shook a bit my awareness of reality. Not knowing where to head to, not having enough money to buy food, not even a companion with whom I could share thoughts, it was hard." I rambled. "But it was all for the good. I found you, after all."

"You sound like you are already sunk, aren't you? Why, Shion?" When the sound of my name came from his mouth a strong and cold chill rolled viciously down my spine. I got goose bumps immediately. "Why did you want to find me?"


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter_ 2:_**

"Why did you come here?" His voice was clear and devoid of emotion.

Silence followed.

He caressed the mug's surface playfully as he talked to me. "When we parted I told you:_'Reunion will come.' _Did you doubt my promise?"

"No! Of course not!" I shouted in retaliation and jumped slightly as if someone pricked eyes met as my body faced his.

I retorted calmer. "That day, even though I held no certain truth about you, not even your real name, I concluded that you were, you are and you will always be Nezumi. You said it yourself, people don't change, can't change. Names are just a show of mere affection."

He looked at me sternly as he slipped tea down his throat, placing the empty mug on the table.

"Even so, knowing a person is what enhances the new formed relationship. Your nickname fits you just well, although I seldom thought that _fox_ was far more suitable than _rat_; I clenched to this name of yours and never forgot it because it was one of the few things that bid us."

A bolt of swift moving cut the space that separated us. Everything around me seemed to fall in silence, but a fierce grip around my whist drew a thin line between me and reality. Nezumi harshly knocked me down on the unexpectedly smooth surface of the couch. A few strips of sweat rolled down my forehead, all the way to mywine lips. His strength was far more savage, his breath was diminished in number and quieter compared to mine, his eyes were ferocious and viciously piercing at me like needles.

"You are just full of shit, aren't not? You'd make such a terrible actor. Those petty words of yours, is that all your little evil mind can come up with? Did you come to fool, deceive me?"

I frowned. "Nezumi, I'm no actor and I don't want to either fool or deceive you." I seized his hands in mine. "Right now, you are the most importantliving being beside me, you value more than my own life. If accepting you meant my own destruction, then to destruction I would tread again and again, without doubt in mind, fear or remorse. I told you before and I want you to remember from now on: I feel drowned to you, your every move, your mind, your very nature."

He smiled mockingly. "And _I_ told you beforehand that you _are_ the No.6 itself, beautiful and attracting from the outside, but a rooting plague on the inside. "

"I am not. Why would you think such things?"

"You said it yourself. You don't know me." His grip grew stronger and his legs pressed harder on mine, my body felt overwhelmed by his weight while my mind felt cornered by his stringent eyes. "It's not about me, who I am, what I want. Everyone who would have stepped forward and give you a hand would have ended up as your_'dear and precious'_ person. "

I bounced my legs into his and with all my power I lanced forward. Nezumi didn't put up afight against my hasty action;therefore, we switched places, him standing on the couch, defenseless with me on top of him. I took up the chance and grabbed his collar as if my whole life meant that last strip of material.

"Inukashi, Rikiga, the Old Man, do you think any of them would have done that for me? Tell me! You are saying that I am like No.6, then I will tell you that No.6 no longer stands as your memory clenches onto it! The new city has taken all the West Block's residents, those alive were taken care of in the newly built hospitals and those who were dead were given a proper funeral. When we were inside the Correctional Facility, when we had no choice but to hear the voices of the dead, their hatred, their hardship, their anguish, their loathing, as it welled up out of the ground and shoat the earth, there, we swore to live and remember. I did. I still remember that day because to forget is not a choice. Then was when I decided to live my life according to the crude reality you presented me, the true and unchangeable reality. Those four years I tried to establish one peaceful relationship between No.6's old residents and those from West Blocks… and I succeed." My tongue clicked in my teeth as my words crossed my mouth.

"Careful, young master, you haven't talked in a while." His expression suddenly softened, he looked at me worryingly. "Does it hurt?"

"I'm fine." I attempted to say while swallowing fresh blood. I stood still for a while, with my tongue pointed out, Nezumi amusing himself in the given time."Anyway, my point was that I am not evil and deceiving like you think I am."

"Evil and deceiving? I wouldn't go that far."

"No.6 is not what it used to be. Well, it's true that the crime's rate increased but that's just…" Long pause. "human nature, is it not?"

My rhetorical question welcomed another silence that didn't need immediate interruption. Nezumi was watching me in a way that I could not describe because I couldn't get past his grey barrier.

"About giving your life for me, stop that." I opened my mouth in order to differ, but Nezumi shout me in. "And I mean it. Value yourself more. I want you to stay as you are. The Shion I know would never commit a sin. Never. I want you to fight with yourself, to value what you are and think twice before you act. Killing one man for saving another is no way of handling things."

An insupportable pain drew on from my heart and reached my every nerve, torturing me senselessly. Nezumi's words were not the cause, but neither the cure. My breathing became raspier and my vision grew weaker.

"We'd better get some sleep." I said. "It's been a long day" and the pain continued.

"So it be."

* * *

_Night hauled the distressful city. Darkness slashed in half like the blade of the sword the violet sky. The sound and wind chased to exist in the coming blackness. There was no trace of human soul on the morose walk path towards the most sinister part of the city. Not a noise caused by hoarse breathings, not the small cries of the underground animals – just one resilient pair of paces was resonating. _

_ The dark fell even pitcher as the woman approached her destination. Those few steps the she took down the whited path rose before me now: It was cold and it grew colder, there was no light, and fog began to roll from the darkest side of the town. _

_ There was a shot, a violet energy splitting the darkness like a wedge, so that it closed like a thunderclap. She began to run, the silence enveloped everything surrounding her and left her alarming pace sound wild, echoing, reaching the ears of the one holding the gun. Then, as suddenly as if it was snatched away, the woman chest split in half, her soul drew away and she fainted to the ground._

_ One hand rising after another, drenched in cold blood that belong to nobody. _

_ "Shion."_

_ Gruesome, grotesque face of what was once a beautiful woman appeared within the darkness. Her lusty eyes drowned in despair, her cries called the death form their graves, and her ears sought my screams._

_ " dear."_

_ He lashed forward like a starving beast._

_ "Why won't you cry?"_

My scream penetrated the thin walls as if they were made out of paper. I grabbed my neck by both hands and tried to choke every little sound.

"She can't hear me."

"Karan."

My breath grew weaker, my eyes were closing.

"Hear me… not!"

One resonating sound calmed the room's turmoil. My eyelashes tried desperately to clear my eyes' path in the darkness. After one eternity of numbness, the muscle of my right check sent signals of pain. It was twitching from the impact with Nezumi's hand.

"Shion."

The gentle voice was vengeful to my ears.

"Shion, look at me." My eyes forced to open and the image of a ravished Nezumi camegradually into my vision. His hair looked funny.

"You had a nightmare. " His eyes were not cruel, not inquiring, not even curious. Nezumi held the simple expression of worry.

"Yeah." I said barely. All my memories came back and made my stomach twitch in pain and disgust. The afternoon tea started to crumble up my throat and back to my mouth. I quickly pushed Nezumi aside and rushed to the bathroom. As the smelly liquid came down, my stomach became empty and in more pain than before. At least the nausea was far away.

"Shion." Nezumi whispered from the door's frame. He patted my back almost motherly and glanced hard.

In losing my wind and limbs I had also lost the strength of my mind, my conscience and my very soul. The nightmare consumed me like a beast eating its prey. My eyes were unfocused, my mouth was hardly responding to my commands and my very body was assaulted by the memory of the dream.

"Karan is dead. "

I felt Nezumi's hands freezing along with his body.

"Karan is…" and I let my head falling in my own mud as if in juvenile punishment. "and I couldn't even cry, Nezumi, I couldn't… cry."

The warmth from his fingers left loot for cold on my spine after Nezumi stood up deafeningly.

"Stand." He ordered. My mind barely listened to his call, but my limbs were far off dead. "Shion, stand and clean yourself." And he grabbed me of my right arm, lift me with more difficulty then he expected. But after a long lived silence where my legs refused to listen, I found myself with head and hands in one unusual large sink or was it a really small bathtub? I couldn't figure.

Cold water washed me and I felt more vigorous then before.

"Here, clean yourself. I'll wait in the room."

I couldn't tell how much time passed until I could have claimed myself to be clean, but when my eyes fell on the very serious Nezumi no tinge of impatience was shown on his face. He sat on the couch, enveloped in complete darkness, lost in thought.

I tried to find my way though the room until I was in front of him. "I'm done." I announced.

"Good." He responded. "Sit."

His syllabically speaking mode was something I encountered for the first time since I knew Nezumi, so I could not tell if he was angry, surprised or simply lost in terms. His face revealed no more than his words.

"Are you angry with me?" The only way to figure out what he was thinking was to ask him directly.

"I'm not." His denial was not sustained in other way. Was he telling the truth? I sincerely didn't know.

"Are you surprised?"

"I am." But that didn't seem to be the reason for his loss of words either. Together with my shaken mind, my limbs turned weak yet again, refusing to listen to my commands – my legs started a miserably shaking and they gave in easily enough. All my weight was sustained in my knees that were scratched by the poor wooden floor.

A few locks of hair were stumbling together in my mouth but I did not consume any more energy on putting them in place. After washing it my usually snowy white seemed to hold now the same color of Nezumi's eyes. It was, though, lifeless and plain compared to him.

"There is one thing I fail to understand." Nezumi suddenly spoke. I raised my head.

"You." He said bluntly. "You are not devastated, but not in your best shape either. She's not _mother_, but _Karan_ now."

I placed my shaking hands on his knees and my head on top of them. I was truly tired, I must confess.

"That's why I came." I did not know how to explain myself to Nezumi. I did not feel myself _competent _enough to give explanations and I also could not understand very well myself what was happening between my conscience and rationality.

Although his eyes showed encouragement, I did not know to what extent Nezumi's magnanimity of the situation would go to. I feared his disapprobation the most.

"She was killed for bread. Not a sacrificial, heroic or satisfying death. Just some baked flour. As I said, the crime's rate is really high since No.6's permitted West Block's residents to enter the city. Obviously, not everyone was suited for laboring or simply working so there remained only their skill in stealth. Karan was the victim of one starving beast who could not afford to buy beard."

The horrible memories of the scene did not fail to enclosure my mind.

"She was shot. Three times. Yes, for a bread, three times."

Her whitey hands covering the bloody chest, her lifeless face, there was nothing more horrifying then the veryimage of death.

"And?" Nezumi pestered.

"Do you know who found her?" It was rhetorical because, obviously, Nezumi wouldn't have had known the answer. "Hamlet. Do you know why?" I hated myself. Truly madly hating myself was one childish way of redemption.

Nezumi's presence made me feel even more downtrodden. He looked at me evenly, his eye did not judge and his mouth was shut.

"That day when I came back from the city I passed by her merely thinking '_Just another crime.'_I've seen death so many times that it became so natural for me, abnormally fine I felt beside dead corpses. It was just _'another dead body due to the high crime rate'_. "

Not pity, not loath, not wary clouded Nezumi's eyes. I was distressed.

I dug my nails in his tights after raising my head a few inches from his knees. Although I knew better than anyone what satiety meant one simply plea for Nezumi, but that was the only feeling that beset my mind greatly.

His eyes twitched and his hands moved forward, gripping mine, keeping them away. "I'm listening, go on." And he said nothing more.

I sighed and replaced my hands on his knees. "I just thought now about what you said early." I blurted, speaking the truth behind my restless rushing thoughts. "That I'm just like No.6 - attracting and capable on the outside, but horrifying and deceiving on the inside." My crimson eyes fixed Nezumi more serious and sever than ever. "It might be true."

He looked as if I insulted him, he felt offended, and I didn't and couldn't help myself but think that perhaps, after all, that was his way of encouraging me, of giving me self confidence through my stubbornness.

"I think I deceived my own self for so long."

He was immediately inquired, feeling the conversation becoming more challenging. "And why is that?"

"At her funeral, Karan's, before and after that, I couldn't cry. I didn't shed a tear after almost one year. I couldn't."

My glittering composed eyes contrasted Nezumi's contracting pupils. That was the strongest eye contact we had ever made, that moment, I could literally feel Nezumi's shivers, raspy breath and sweat strolling down his forehead as his head nearly collided with mine. His fear was materializing gradually and only then I believed that my whole life teetered in the scales with his. Truth was harder to take than any other lie.

I felt there was more chance for him to cry then me. I kept my gaze strong and unmoved.

"I don't know who I am anymore; that's why I fear myself more than any other human and weapon. After she had died I felt myself slowly turning into the person I used to be before meeting you. I fell back in ignorance and I let myself lead by the system. On the other hand, tasting a bit from the reality you showed me, knowing what meant to be on the other side of the boat; I thought that I could be different. But in the end I turned to my origins. Was I deceiving myself? Am I now still doing it? Nezumi."

He listened carefully to my rumble. The more I expected him to say something, be it encouraging or criticizing, the more my chances for him doing it were minimizing.

"Yesterday, when we met and after we talked, I was happy, really happy, and content that I could express myself in so many ways. I got angry; I shouted at you, I even bit my tongue for talking too much; so many refreshing things that I meant doing for a while. I yearned for you."

"I had this ravenous wish of seeing you. I didn't know you well and I still don't, I think I won't ever be able to claim to fully understand you, but, I know what effect you have on me. My senses have been going numb since her death, I've been feeling like a dying man; so I sought for you, I searched you and, after six months, I found you."

In that very moment, I felt like the epitome of flippancy compared to Nezumi's mute attitude.

"When we argued earlier, before we went to sleep, I was so thrilled that you opened the topic and I eagerly contradicted you, I even forgot for a second the real reason behind all these. I feel horrible, you see?" I paused. "And when you said that the Shion you knew would never commit a sin I just realized myself what a disgrace might I be in your eyes. I often asked myself what a sin is, what is the right thing to do? How many times have I sinned in other's eyes, in your eyes?"

Nezumi raised his hand and took in his fingers my stumbled hair that sunk in my mouth, he threw it backwards and watched me intensely. He was finally determinate to speak.

"You want to live, to survive this reality while keeping your delicate conscience uninjured. Cut it some slack, stop apologizing, stop depending on my or others opinion on every matter on your life. You reached this state because you were traumatized." Although he was giving harshwords, his hands were gently caressing my hair and ears all along. "You couldn't and you still can't get over your mother's death and I understand why you feel as if this is absolutely impossible." I was half through asleep by the time he was playing with my poorly made braid, but I kept my eyes opened.

"We have to do something."

I slightly jumped while his gaze was strongly attached to me. His face was starting to hold color, his eyes, his hair, his skins, everything was lividly colored. The first rays of sunshine bathed my and Nezumi's skin softly, refreshingly. Morning has come.

He averted his gaze and looked through the window. "It has been a long night, but we have to sleep now. Today is gonna be busy."

"Why is that?"

"We will be leaving shortly, obviously. I'm returning you to No.6 _and _your mother." He put his fingers on my chin and raised it until our faces were just a few inches apart. "Just like a little phony lamb." He added, mockingly.

"Does this mean you are helping me?"

"Naturally."


	4. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3:**_

Nightmares chased to haul me until I woke up at the early hours of the afternoon. The image of a reluctant Nezumi sitting cross-legged, rather womanish, came in my vision before anything else. I flipped my eyelashes a few times and moved loudly so to announce I'm awake.

Nezumi looked towards me. "Good _afternoon_, young master. Have you slept well?"

"I'd appreciate if you stopped calling me that."

"Why? I think it suits you the best."

_I guess I just have to prove you otherwise._ I thought while raising my body from the cozy bed. Looking at its size I started to wonder myself how could have two people slept there. Was I so tired that I didn't even noticed Nezumi's kicks?

_He still sees me as a pampered kid cradled in the purple. How many times did I think before taking any actions 'What would Nezumi do in this situation?' Have I been trying for nothing?_

"Do you know what is really changed at you?" Nezumi spoke dully.

"What?"

"You are restrained and very tactful with your words. You speak not even half of what you think. Your mind is running aloof but your mouth keeps the normal pacing. Why is that?"

_Why_, he asks. Nezumi was the first person who let me speak freely, who wouldn't put me to swear oaths or rumble empty meaningless words. He was broader, his simply existence meant for me freedom and exteriorizing.

"I wanted to be like you. You are always composed and you never complain of how life presents before you. Being simply content with waking up in the morning and breathing the dump air, I wanted to be like that. I imposed myself to become someone whom you would acknowledge, someone who is worth exposing everything to." Such deep talk just after waking up, it seemed a bit out of place.

_But was there something else to talk about?_

Nezumi knitted his brow. "I'm me and you're you." But his voice didn't betray annoyance or hate; he was speaking to me calmly. "We can't do the same things. We can't be the same. You came to me right? If you craved to be so much like me, then why would you seek me in the first place? Would you have needed me if you had already been like me? We can't be the same, but we can support each other like this."

He rose from his chair and approached me. Nezumi's hand touched my hair lightly. "Speak your mind, Shion." I gazed at him girlishly, with just a tinge of blush on my face. "Anyway, I think you've already _reached_ the point where the simply thought of being alive makes your heart warmer in comparison with everything from eight years ago summed up. " Nezumi continued.

"But not to the point where you acknowledge me as someone you can expose yourself completely." I shot back in retaliation. My eyes were sharp and the blush faded rapidly.

He sighed as if I didn't understand a thing. "No one would want someone to know everything about himself."

"Nezumi, I know _nothing _of you. "

His brush turned into a grip and my hair tangled around his fingers.

"I can assure you that compared to anyone else, you are the one who knows the most."

I sighed deeply. "Nezumi, why won't you understand?" But there was no room for another comeback because a knock in the door disturbed us.

"Visitors?" I asked.

"Stay put."

Nezumi distanced himself from me and approached the door. He opened it firmly after the third knock. I found it quite surprising that Nezumi didn't seem wary at all.

A young lady of ravishing beauty waltzed in as soon the door was opened. Her pace reminded me of a slow Venetian dance that I've seen so many times at the theater. If Nezumi's presence was powerful, overwhelming, and breathtaking then hers was calming and warm; her every move was meant to soothe the tension that Nezumi tend to leave behind himself.

They were a good pair.

"Oh my! You had a visitor and I just walked in! Please excuse my manners, if I had known I would have prepared a bit more." She looked at me earnestly and tried to decipher my very existence in Nezumi's bed. She blinked. Then she blushed. "Nezumi! Oh my, you've been visiting _the Parlour_, haven't you?"

I tilted my head not understanding her words. The Parlour?

"I didn't know! I feel so stupid now for flirting with you all this time! I started to have a complex, but you just had no interest in woman all along!"

I did not understand even a word from her speech, so I rose by brows and searched Nezumi's eyes.

"Huh?! Where did you get that from?" Nezumi hissed, while hanging her white coat on a hanger.

"There is a petite boy on your bed wearing one of your expensive shirts." She said pissed. "Wait, isn't that shirt the one that I gave you last Christmas?"

The conversation was totally beyond me. There was a woman, another _human being_ in Nezumi apartment that spoke and moved freely as if they have been acquaintances for years. Nezumi was calmly enjoying _another _person's presence. Yeah, that totally exceeded my mind's power.

"He is not a whore."

Nezumi's sudden words sent very cold shivers down my spine, just realizing what the woman had meant all along. I winced and looked at her offended.

"I'm not a prostitute! God!" I yelled, rising from the bed. I stood defiantly in front in her. "Do I look like a prostitute to you?" I wasn't mad, I didn't even know why was I having this conversation, but her statements were totally aloof.

She seized me pensively, and then grabbed me by my both cheeks.

"You are absolutely adorable! Please forgive my rudeness. But you stood there in such an erotic position that I still feel confused how Nezumi hadn't already jumped on you." She approached my left ear and whispered with a lusty glitter on her green eyes. "_He is a wolf_."

Nezumi grabbed her shoulder and draw her back. "Stop filling his head with nonsense and tell me why you are here on my day off. "

"Oh my, don't be mad, I was only telling the truth."

"Obviously, the complete and fair truth, that just sounds like you, _Madame_." And his menacing glare hit her like a warning. Her doll face crisped and then she released herself from his grip. She sat on vacant chair of the dinner table. _'Madame' _trigged something, something that evidently was beyond me again.

I excused myself with a small bow and rushed at the bathroom. I wanted to hear more of their conversation and pose some question, but my look was none to share with strangers. The way I was dressed really sent the vibe of someone working in the red light district.

I washed and dressed properly, even put my hair in place. I looked at the mirror and I thought that decent was far more suitable then properly.

When I exited the bathroom doors, Nezumi and the young lady was already chit-chatting. Without interrupting them, I sat on the other chair that stood a few meters away from the table.

"So, what do you say?" she asked, Nezumi thought.

"What happened?"

The woman almost jumped from her chair and turned her head alarmed.

"Oh my" I started to believe that was one of her verbal habits. "I didn't even notice when you entered the room." She raised her hand and placed it a few inches apart from my mouth.

"Pardon my manners, I believe I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Elise Conrad and I work as an actress at the Central Theater. It's a pleasure to meet you."

I pressed my lips into a kiss on her raised hand. "I'm Shion, a friend of Nezumi." Yes, that was the best introduction that I could think of.

"Oh my! A friend? So many surprises in just a day, I don't think I can manage!" Her way of speaking was different, she had an accent that I heard for my first time and her choice and way of placing her words was odd and complicated to follow.

"Aren't you also one of his friends?"

"She is a coworker." Nezumi cut her off. "Anyway, enough with the lovely-dovey talk."

"Nezumi, don't be jealous, it doesn't suit a handsome and mature man like you. You're going to lose face."

"Jealous? Do you think I'm jealous? I can't believe that you were actually chosen to play Ophelia given your lamentable skill in judging people."

I blinked confused.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed as if some truth was finally revealed to me. "You were Ophelia?! Hamlet's Ophelia?!"

She couldn't understand my reaction. "Yes, why are you asking?"

"I saw your play last night! With Nezumi and such." My eyes glittered with fascination. I couldn't even recognize her. Ophelia and Elise were different characters from every point you could think of. "Your acting was really good. I felt deeply touched when I saw you and Nezumi playing."

One sincere smile adorned her face. "Oh my, I also think that Nezumi is a very good actor."

"Yes! He is the best, my first time seeing him I was so mused by his acting skill that I could barely move!"

"You are a very honest boy, are you not?" She paused. "But I know what you are feeling, that was my first impression of him too."

Nezumi's fist hit hard the table's surface. "If you would stop talking as if I was not here, that would be great."

I looked at him with praise. "Don't be mad, we were not speaking lies."

"It gets me chills of how good you two are getting along. I should have prepared myself better." Nezumi spoke sardonically.

I felt enchanted from the warm and peaceful atmosphere that surrounded the room. There was no other happiness that could have warmed my heart than the feeling of another person laughing and chatting by my side. It meant that we were alive and living.

"So, Elise, why are you here?" I inquired this time.

"Well, Charlie sent me. But I guess you wouldn't know who Charlie is." She added thoughtfully. "I guess you would call him the director of the theater or something like that. Charlie manages literally everything there! He is up to a new play!"

"What play?"

"Oh, Shion, are you perhaps interested in such things?"

I chuckled, thinking how I've come around to like those things. "The only books that Nezumi had back then were plays of Shakespeare, Moliere, Corneille, Racine, Brecht and Tennessee Williams. Reading them was basically the only thing to do." I explained while flashes of old memories clouded my vision greatly. I felt nostalgic for some reason.

I felt Nezumi stiffening beside me and sending me death glares, but not understanding the reason behind them I simply ignored his implies.

"Moliere! Charlie said: '_Moliere was a distingué genius, with a bitter and complex view of the human character! The wealth of character he portrayed, his brilliancy of wit, and the resourcefulness of his technique, we need none other than our most distinguished actor!_' And so I came here to give you this job that Charlie is so excited about."

I was fairly stunned, mused by her capability of memorizing! She was great, her voice was deep, grumpy and a bit sardonic, probably a perfect imitation of Charlie's real character.

"Shion, she is probably as good as you at memorizing things. At this point, I can say no bad things of you, Elise."

She blushed theatrically. "Thank you."

"Tell him I accept with one condition."

"Oh my, and what would that be?" Elise asked in an overly natural shocked manner. I thought that she's already expected Nezumi to put conditions.

"He has to pay me ten gold coins. Five now and the rest after the show is done."

Her face suddenly because impassible, devoid of emotion or any sentimental stir. She was serious. "Ten? So many? What for?"

Nezumi narrowed his eyes. "None of your concern, I believe. "

All her girlish act from before turned into dust, she posed as very mature and demanding. I could not tell what her real self was at that point.

"If those ten coins would be cut off from my income, then it would be my business." Her harsh words cut the silence and brought up tension.

Elise's concern for money raised some question in my head, but I preferred to keep them for me.

"Huh? Why is that? Did that fat old man of yours fled the city? You bet he was getting tired of how you emptied his pockets."

Nezumi's cruelty didn't even make Elise to raise one finger.

"Nezumi!" But I could definitely not stand such an attitude. I kicked his legs under the table but his eyes didn't avert from hers.

"Huh?" She finally spoke, rising her right hand, throwing aside the blond curly hair from her shoulder. She pressed her chin on the back of her _shaky_ hand. That was a sign of alcoholism, was that not? Her red lips were curled up into a smile. "I always liked that superior act of yours, how highly and unreachable you think you are, especially when everyone is on their knees, pledging admiration and _mercy_. A cluster of acts and lies - that's what you are and that is why Charlie still pays you."

"Are you speaking of me, or of yourself? I can't really tell." Nezumi shot.

Her abstruse words did not forge themselves in my mind, I couldn't understand what they meant or the reason behind them. Pledging mercy? How much did she know of Nezumi's past? Perhaps Elise was aware of Nezumi life in No.6 and his crude fight of surviving there. But how? I couldn't help but wonder.

The morning waft danced with the sound of their voices.

"I think… Nezumi's is an honest person."

Her pupils dilated in amazement. She laughed, and the tension broke.

"Nezumi, you have your leash really well wrapped around this kid. He believes you're honest, how funny is that? Oh my." And she laughed even harder. "How foolish… how very foolish of you."

I looked desperately at Nezumi, but his eyes were dump and steel made. He said nothing, he just watched in silence how the woman laughed at the absurdity I've just revealed.

"Well…" I tried to give proof for my words, but Elise raised her whole arm, and put her palm in front of my face, in sign of stopping everything I had in mind.

"Enough enough, I don't even want to hear it. I'll take my leave." She rose from the chair, grabbed her coat and waltzed towards the door. "It was fun to meet you, Shion." She smiled dearly. "As for our next meeting Nezumi, I'll come again in the evening to tell you what Charlie has to say of your proposal." She waved her hand and closed the door behind her.

I looked at Nezumi.

"Damn woman, coming whenever she wants and saying everything that crosses her mind. I really don't know what to do with her." He smirked nonchalantly. He left the room, going to the kitchen and after some time, coming with two bowls of soup, I believed to be after smelling it.

"You two are much like newlyweds." I concluded that afternoon conversation.

Nezumi knitted his eyebrow. "Come again? You haven't even met newlyweds so far."

"I did. There was once this coworker of mine that proposed to me." I started, sipping one full spoon of soup. "I rejected, and the next day she announced she is getting married with our boss. They live two flats above me so I can tell what newlyweds are like."

Nezumi looked confused at me. "Why would you be her first choice?"

I should have felt offended, but I wasn't, my mind was basically preoccupied with that bowl of soup. If someone had tried to steal it, I couldn't have guaranteed for his life. Days of starvation could transform any decent man in a craving beast.

"I don't know. We talked once about the possibility of my children being born with white hair and red eyes. It was a zero percent possibility, though. "

"She fancied you. My my, you became a lady killer." He had this dirty smirk on his face.

But my eyes didn't avert from the bowl.

"I can say the same thing. You didn't deny my remark about you and Elise being newlyweds."

Nezumi's face dropped, he suddenly looked annoyed. "For god's sake, that woman would be the last person to get married with. She is a gold digger, her passion is the coin and her love is spending it. A deadly combination. She is also frugal, and good at acting. Another deadly combination."

"You don't despise or loath her, either." I pointed.

"If I had loathed every person like her, then now I would have been shut in a building with a hoard of desperate people around it, holding guns and torches, ready to kill me. With Rikiga leading them, obviously."

"Why would someone crave for money? I can't understand that."

"People crave for many things. Money is one of them."

"Yes, but why? Why would I achieve if I would sit on a mountain of gold coins, but built under a pillar of corpses."

Nezumi's eyes betrayed pity.

"You still don't understand how the world works." His motherly tone brushed tenderly my ears, although his words were none to comfort me.

The conversation found its end. I finished two bowls of soup and only after that I started to review in my mind what had happened so far.

* * *

Nezumi suggested going out in town, a very good idea given that I only knew how to reach the theatre so far. We dressed properly and Nezumi gave me one of his many scarves, made of silk and very soft at touch. His concern was as clear as the day. Moments like that suffices to describe how much happiness can provide a simple shown of affection. I felt comfy and safe when I was around Nezumi.

The city's tour didn't bring excitement, but neither bore. The town was much bigger then I imagined and its simple structure made it easy to remember. It was parted in four sides and the name symbolized the cardinal points. In North was the bazaar where merchants from dozen of places fought between them and struggled to made profit. You could find literally everything there, from food and souvenirs to weapons and slaves. Its diversity was what held the city alive and in function.

The South was where the people that belong to the city lived. The population was neither poor nor rich, mostly everyone had a place that could be considered "home" and the working market hadn't met too many difficulties so far. Apart from the foreign merchants from the North, the West and East were consisted of working places. The farms and the decorations factories were the most basic and common between all the facilities.

At the very edge of all working places you could find the '_Prostitution Parlour'_. People around town used to call it simply _the parlour_. 'Parlour' came from the French verb 'parler' that meant speaking. Mainly, the prostitutes were bought from all over the world, they could not understand our language as well as we couldn't understand theirs, it was a convenience, as Nezumi explained, because it chased away betrayal and sustained very well the economy given that the number of prostitutes hardly decreased. Only then I understood Elise's words. She had thought I came from the parlour and I was Nezumi's bought whore - Nezumi gave a vulgar laugher when he brought it up.

And there was the center, most gracious of all. A magnificent statue of a woman rose from the ground with the immerse power of drawing everything within. She yielded with her left hand a sword that taunted and pierced the burning sky, and with her right hand held the hammer that stroke the ground. The sun seemed small and limited in front of her majestic goddess' power.

In front of the statue was found the government building, with a beautifully sculpted façade on the all four sides of the building. Only a few blocks away was the theater were Nezumi played every week, as I had found out while touring the city.

Nezumi lived in the south, his front window facing the street that parted the east blocks from the rest of the neighborhood. When we went back, Elise was already waiting in the living room and I asked myself if Nezumi gave her the key or she just smuggled in.

He didn't say a word seeing her, so I chose to pose my question later.

"You two really took your time, didn't you? Where have you been? Touring the city?"

Nezumi nodded.

"I spoke to Charlie" She said rashly, while her hands were viciously hitting the chair's back. "He accepted."

Nezumi smirked victoriously.

"Well, let's hope everyone will end up happy after the play is over." She slapped some papers that were on the table. "This is the script. I'm leaving now - there is some business that I have to attend to. I'm sorry we can't talk more, maybe I'll come by tomorrow."

"Please try not to." Nezumi replied, a bit angry at her friendly attitude.

But she was already out and Nezumi's words didn't seem to reach her.

Her short visit made me wonder if she couldn't actually stay more.

Elise was the epitome of flippancy, really, when she talked she emanated life. The manner she spoke, she moved, she was the vitality itself. Elise made me feel alive in a different way comparing to Nezumi's. As vigorous as she was, her energy never failed to reach me. Nezumi, on the other hand, would have rather implanted on me thoughts and reasons that only later would have brought me joy and comfort.

Elise's method was the best choice if you sought warmth or attention in a given moment, but Nezumi's was far more suited for the long run that laid ahead.

We ate at a nearby restaurant, so dinner was out of question. After taking a shower, we sat on the couch.

"I feel my limbs going numb after so much walking."

"Already complaining?" He said while he let his head fall backwards with water still running down on his hair, wetting the floor. I said nothing.

"You had money on you when we were at the restaurant. How much do you have?"

"Close to three gold coins."

He smiled. "Saved up a bit, didn't you?"

"I had a pretty good income in No.6, I didn't know what to do with so much money so I just saved up."

"We will use it to go back."

The memory of last night flashed before my eyes. Nezumi accepted quite easy to give up living in such a fine town and going back to the place he loathed the most.

"It's been on my mind for a while" I started. "Why did you accept to help me? This town is more that you could ever ask and I can seriously understand now why you've been here for more than 6 months. The town is peaceful, you can find rare merchandise, and you make a decent living from doing what you like, acting. I fail to understand your choice."

Nezumi slowly turned his head towards me, as if to capture a better image while I was speaking. For a bitter moment, there was silence. Not even the wind dared to soothe away the tension. It fit between us and did nothing, I wondered if Nezumi was cold.

"You were the one who said that money does not matter, that you could not understand those who sat on a mountain of coins that had the pillars made out of corpses."

I found myself beyond his reasoning.

"A decent living means to have money. You just asked me why I chose you instead of the money I made while acting, instead of the decent life I could buy with it."

His words started to link in my head. My eyes softened and I felt very happy inside. My soul was enraptured in his kindness, in those words that flooded his mouth so easily. He was right. He chose me; someone like me that didn't even understood the idea of possessing money.

He raised his hand and grabbed my chin, obliging me to meet his eyes.

"You said that if accepting me meant your own destruction then to destruction you would tread again and again. I would do the same. I don't want to hurt you, more than that I would not allow anyone to hurt you in my place. I would not sit and delight myself with comfort and joy while you crumble in mud and suffer. Eight years ago you could have called the police, you could have turn me in, betray me, but you did not. You, yourself, chose to help me and leave your comfortable place. It is my nature, my joy and my curse not to forget that night. Please remember what I'm telling you know."

He let go of me with one last glare, rose from the sofa and fell on the bed, covering his entire body with the mattress.

"It's getting late again, we'd better go to sleep, or Elise will go through another shock in the morning."

"Who is Elise?" I followed his example and I tried to make enough space on the bed. "I mean, what's the exact relationship between you too?"

Nezumi grumpily moved towards the wall so I could slip beside him, and spoke without turning completely to me.

"She is the _'heroine' _of the plays I usually take. Charlie said we had good chemistry and that we complete each other in every sense."

"Eh." I exclaimed more to avoid the silence, not being really satisfied with his answer.

"But that's what Charlie thinks. Elise can become anyone: the poor and orphan girl, the rich and elegant woman, the talented, but extremely bad paid actress, the widow that suffers in silence and needs comfort, the quiet and shy girl that hides behind the other's back. She traveled a lot before coming here and choosing acting for making a living is one of her latest ideas. No one is even sure if Elise is her real name."

"In other words, you don't trust her at all."

Nezumi turned around, facing me completely and smirked boyishly. "Eh, you've become sharper." The bed was so small, that the only things that parted our faces were our very breathes that measured no more than half of my palm.

"But you still let her enter your apartment with free will."

"There is nothing here worth stealing. And her standards would definitely be way higher then this shabby place. She loves luxury. "

"So that's why you don't even bother to lock the door."

He nodded, with his eyes half closed. My legs were stumbled in his. So little space.

"Nezumi, there is one more thing."

He frowned."What now? You can't just shut up, can you?"

"You were the one who told me to speak my mind."

He muttered something about the consequences in his pillow. I felt all the muscles from his thighs twitching every time our legs stumbled too hard.

The bed was really small. Narrow. Cozy. Suffocating.

"I believe there is some sort of sexual tension between us."

Nezumi froze. His eyes were wide open now and his mouth was close to gasping by the time my sentence was finished.

"Blunt and straightforward as always." He tried to avoid it with one of his sarcastic remarks.

"Nezumi, I'm serious. It's not just me. You touch me a lot, _a lot_. Even now, on the couch, maybe you don't realize it or it means nothing to you, but you do it very often. My hair, my forehead, my chin, my arms, my legs, you touch it all."

He buried his face on his pillow. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation."

"Nezumi, don't ignore me!"

"Huh? And what do you want me to say?" I could feel his chuckles. The next moment, the mattress was still flying over our heads, but Nezumi was already on me, seizing my legs and arms and watching me cautiously. His speed never failed to take me by surprise.

"Do you want to do it or what?" His words were filled with haste.

I trembled in his powerful grip; his warmth turned into needles that pricked at me senselessly. I was not afraid of him, not even for a moment, but his strength was up to its full potential when he had seized me down. My body winced in pain.

"Nezumi, you are hurting me." Seeing my contorted and pained face, he freed me, but maintaining his position on top of me.

After catching my breath, I spoke. "I did not meant I want to sleep with you. I just wanted to sort out our feelings, our relationship."

It was the first time we had this type of conversation. Our relationship had never occurred before because neither of us had a name for it, nor felt it was stable enough to give it one.

"I've been thinking of it, but the further I went the deeper I sank. Friendship, love, group, mentality, pity, sympathy, empathy – it didn't matter what name it was given, but none of them seemed to fit our relationship. Maybe it was a bit of everything or maybe it was none altogether? This involves the two of us, so I wanted to discuss it together."

Nezumi gnashed his teeth and words started streaming from his mouth as if he was possessed.

"Let's review the situation. You are an airhead, you know nothing of how this world works, you say whatever crosses your mind, there is no sense of hierarchy in your head and you don't give a damn about what others think. I can't even remember my parents faces because they were buried alive. I lived all my childhood into the Correctional Facility, while you were pampered and living in the lap of luxury.

Obviously, the first time we met, that stormy night when our eyes first met, I loathed you so much I would have cut your throat open just to set myself free. But you were kind, and stupid, so stupid that I brought myself to believe in your simplicity. And you did not betray my trust. That trigged it, I guess, our _relationship_.

Four years later we met. There was a feeling that roved in circles deep inside my chest that I had to save your lame ass. You remained a natural, a blockhead and I'm sure as hell this will never change no matter how many years pass.

Three months followed, three months of living together. This changed us the most. Little by little, you understood what it meant to live and I, as Inukashi would laugh if she would hear me right now, started to understand the meaning of having another human being beside me. Such a strange feeling, it was! I was thought to never sighed in earnest and never crave for anyone because that will rip me apart and leave me empty on the ground. This kind of thinking was implanted on my, but you changed that. I sought your soul more than anything else in the world.

The sight of you being dead was what hit me more painful and harder than the sound of the blooded corpses, the stench of burning flesh or any other cruelty that was ever done to me. I felt how my life stopped altogether, how there was no reason for me to escape from that bloody prison!

We parted ways because both of us had, despite everything else, many other things that should have been taken care of. You had the whole city to reestablish and my spirit just needed to wonder after being chained to only one desire of destruction.

Tell me Shion, what's the name of this relationship?"

I let him finish. I was mused and speechless. Nezumi suddenly burst in front of me with so many thoughts and feelings. His spoke tersely, doubt clouded neither his tone nor gaze. I felt helpless, utterly meaningless in front of Nezumi's incredible confidence in his own emotions. Mine were completely amidst.

He sighed and retook his place on the bed's surface.

"Shion, there are probably many things running astray in your head. But, I believe there any many other things ahead that we had to deal with before we stop at the sexual tension between us, isn't it? Your soul is in turmoil because of Karan's death, your feelings are out of place and you don't know what to do with yourself. We will find a resolve to this, and when your soul is back in peace we can have this conversation again."

* * *

Please let me know what you think, whether you praise or criticize my work, I'll gladly accept your opinion :D.


	5. Chapter 4

**_So, thank you for the reviews, I was really glad to read them and also for everyone that added me at their favorites and so. _**

**_Anyway, I intended to write many other things on this chapter but seeing that it just grew longer and longer and I was not even getting to the first half of what I had in mind... well, it's just this. I hope it will not disappoint you in any way. _**

**_Chapter 4:_**

The calmness of my dreams drew gradually through the night as Nezumi's constant breath on my neck kept me half conscious, half asleep. Only when the first rises of sunshine reflected on the window's clean surface, Nezumi rose from the bed and I finally found myself falling into a deep slumber.

I dreamt of my childhood, of the day that struck my 12th anniversary. Safu's warm smile followed by her usual scornful face flashed before my eyes. She remained in my mind vigorous and girlish, only devoted to her immeasurable knowledge and the truth that it embodied.

Her raised arms holding the embroidered sweater appeared so real in my mind that I could almost feel the softness of the meticulously made material. Then Nezumi's image wearing it concluded all of my dreams. His steel distrustful eyes, but vibrant and so much the opposite of the fragility that his body betrayed, drawn me with the same strong emotion as eight years ago. Even in my dreams, he held so much power upon me.

I stayed in bed for another couple of hours and when I woke, peeking from the underneath of my half opened eyelashes, the tiredness from yesterday started to accumulate in my muscles with dull pains and aches.

Surprisingly to my comfy sleep, Nezumi was beside me when my eyes opened. He seemed to be reading the script that Elise brought yesterday.

When my eyes started to process clear images, the only thing that I could stare at was how Nezumi's long ravished hair was savagely floating down his shoulders. Nezumi was someone that cut both ways; his natural beauty exceeded any other woman's voluptuous and well shaped body- you would be naturally sunk in his eyes, drown to his lips and driven by the abstruse desire of touching his body. But his cunning personality made him appear deceiving, dangerous and wicked.

I got on my knees and stretched my arms. "Good morning."

Nezumi nodded almost unconsciously. I looked at him indecisively, my eyes captured in the glittering locks of hair. I wondered if it was naturally that way or if Nezumi simply washed it recently. But as he was reading, two secluded locks kept falling behind his ears and he continued nudging them so not to be disturbed from the script's lines.

"Don't you want me to do something with your lousy hair?"

Nezumi turned his head and gazed at me as if my eyes held answers. "I just want to put your hair into place; doesn't it bother you wearing it so lousily?" He gave it a thought, but didn't bother on it too much, so he waved his hand impatiently. "Do whatever you want." He mumbled.

I got a bit closer to him and shoved my hands deeper in his hair. I positioned myself on his left side and grabbed all the silk-like locks, pulling them altogether, harder then I intended. My fingers were wildly running through, basically obliging Nezumi to move his head a bit more to the left.

"Try not to leave me bald at least." He complained, with his attention still directed to the sheets.

It was my first time touching Nezumi so freely. Four years ago it would have been unthinkable to even give a slight stroke to his front bangs. Remembering his uprightness when expressing his deep shock after I had gently brushed my hand on his neck, I realized that, in the past, he was actually frightened to get involved in any kind of relationship; it was taboo.

And now the touches became so natural and common… While my fingers were trying to unravel the first two locks of hair, I thought that maybe he got used to this over the years. Not from the first months, but perhaps after one or two years of travelling alone he found someone whose company would respond positively to his demanding. Maybe he also used to easily change partners, or maybe he sensed in them something more?

Even Elise seemed to be someone that Nezumi has been intimate with, the way she flipped around and spoke, how familiar she was with Nezumi and how Nezumi accepted her familiarity with such ease. It was clear to me that they were more than coworkers, as Nezumi stated. Perhaps Elise also used to play in Nezumi's hair after…?

_After what?_

I sensed myself entering a place far too private in Nezumi's life. For him I was not even trustable enough to share his painful memories of his childhood. Not even his real name, he didn't tell me even such a simple thing… yet I want to know about his private affairs. How very greedy and selfish of me.

His soft hair started to take the beautiful form of a chignon, although it was rather big and heavy compared to how it should have normally be.

But it suited Nezumi the most. Although the chignon was a hairstyle for women, it was also worn by Athenians men with a golden clasp of a grasshopper. It had its origin from the Ancient Greece; it came behind the walls of Sparta and Cyprus. It held power and grace, a combination that described Nezumi the best.

When I raised all of his hairs, I spotted a mosquito bite a bit lower from his right ear. I couldn't help myself but touch it viciously. Mosquitoes only appeared recently in No.6, before the fall of the walls, a mosquito bite was only something you will learn from an electronic book. I started myself to get those reddish spots a few years after the Fall.

As my finger was pricking at the bite, Nezumi shifted suddenly and his hand grabbed mine with such force than my whole body was basically dragged after my grasped hand.

"I will rip off your hand and shove it down your throat!" His threat appeared so real that my body nearly froze.

"Sorry." I managed to slip through my lips.

He let go of me and returned to the script as if nothing happened. I guess he didn't really like to be touched, after all.

I started to ignore everything else until I finished doing his hair. I instead counted the clock's beats as the seconds passed as to keep my distributive attention occupied. Not only after a short twenty minutes my chignon was done and well made.

_A masterpiece, I could say._

"Nezumi, I'm done."

He sighed. "Same here."

I blinked. "You've memorized the whole play?" I asked mused thinking of the few dozen of papers that Elise brought yesterday.

"No, just two acts from five."

I looked over his shoulder, trying not to touch his hair too much. "Which of Moliere's is this one?" And I pointed towards the script.

"The Misanthrope."

I searched thoroughly my memories, but the name didn't ring a bell. "I've never heard of it."

"Obviously. I wouldn't have to learn the play if you had already known it, would I?"

That made sense, actually. The only place I could have known the play from is Nezumi's old living place. If he doesn't know the play then I too, wouldn't have how to know it.

I smiled.

"Well, in this case, take a look of your hair and tell me what you think."

He shifted around and looked at me thoroughly. With one arm sustaining his body weight on the pillow and with the other touching lightly his hair, he analyzed it through his tactile sense, trying to figure what I put so much effort into.

After some time, he spoke. "That prideful face of yours becomes really creepy. I'm going to take a look." He rose from the bed. "If I'm looking like a woman, or worse, like one of the whores you saw yesterday, you are going to regret even laying a finger on my hair."

Nezumi's vigorous spirit in that morning was something new from me. I started to feel the superficiality and distrust between us wavering, growing weaker. I smiled cheerfully at the growing improvement of our relationship.

He went straight to the mirror from his bathroom and brought it to the living room. As he was watching his reflection, he inspected it quietly.

"Shion." His tone suddenly deepened, growing serious. I raised my eyes and looked at him unwaveringly.

But then the knocking on the door broke the constant gaze between us.

I could swear that Elise was one hell of a woman when it came down to interrupting people. When Nezumi opened the door, a vivacious Elise waltzed in.

I shoved the mattress away and gave up the comfort that the bed alone ensured. I gave her a fugitive greet and rushed with an angry pacing towards the bathroom. I admitted my attitude to be one of a child, but I still lingered for Nezumi's impression that now, with Elise's arrival, would only be reduced to silence. Clinging to a small hope, though, I tried to ready myself in utter silence so that their conversation would _"accidentally"_ reach my ears through the wooden door.

Their voices resembled whispers. I got closer to the door while trying to dress up with the newly bought shirt.

"Great achievement, I could say." Her sweet voice formed into words. "Who is this Shion, really? Tell me, Nezumi. How come you became… _friends_?" The word seemed to leave an oppressed feeling on her throat.

"Great?"

I heard Elise fainted sighed. "You don't even know what you've been raising at your door."

"I have my reason to think Shion _is_ such a 'great achievement'." Nezumi stated. "I can't tell what the base of your praises is, though."

I rushed through the door, feeling that the conversation is taking a weird turn. "I'm done." I said, raising my head and watching the two of them as they sat at the dining table, both cross-legged and stripped from emotions.

Elise huffed uncharacteristically, crossed her arms on her chest and looked like she reached a definite conclusion.

"Shion, how would you like to earn some easy money?"

The question was enough to push me back to my senses. My attention lost Nezumi's sight and overturned to Elise completely. Seeing that both I and Nezumi were completely overtaken by her question, she started talking again, livelier and more demanding.

"It's not difficult. I want you to be my personal assistant. Your main job would be to do my hair before the events I'll attend."

Did that mean that she actually liked Nezumi's hair? But it was nothing so special for her to go to such length as to give me employment.

"I don't understand why you chose me of all people."

"Why?" she seemed bewildered with my question. "Yesterday morning your hair, although ravished from a rough night, still had the appearance of the Dutch braid, which is highly uncommon around here. Later, in the evening, you wore something new and refreshing, suited for a long walk around the town, the fishtail hairstyle. And now, Nezumi's hair takes the magnificent form of a chignon, hairstyle that I've seen only twice myself. A few decades ago, it was very common in Europe, but in our lands it still raises high compliments, and of course, a very high price to be made. It's clear to everyone in the room that you've got the skill, what's more surprising, is the fact that you understand the fine connection between the hairstyle and the occasion where it's worn. Do you actually _need _further explanation?"

Nezumi looked at her as if she was speaking a different language; even I had difficulties to understand her devotion and admiration for such a boorish thing as one's hair.

"My dear, I believe you are totally unaware what those hands of your can make for the right client."

Argues threatened to spill from my mouth, but I stopped to take a better look at the situations. We needed money. Nezumi was already contributing with ten golden coins for our return to No.6, and I barely had a quarter from the whole sum.

Reading the reluctance from my face, Elise spoke once more. "I'll give you 2 silver coins per one hairstyle done well." So she started the bargain.

I intended to speak, but Nezumi slammed his hands so hard on the table that our attentions were instantly directed to him.

"We refuse."

Elise's eyes narrowed and her lips parted. "Who asked you anything?" The woman's venomous words made Nezumi's eyebrow twitch.

"You have some nerve to barge in here as you please and…" I pressed my hand on his shoulder and squished hard, with my eyes begging at him to stop. "Nezumi, we need money, I think this is a good opportunity. After all, it's just making her hair- there is nothing outrageous about that."

Nezumi looked as if I stepped further on his toes. "A good opportunity my ass. She's giving you 2 silver coins; it's more than clear there is something behind." His distrust was as clear as the day.

Elise sighed impatiently. "Yeah, Nezumi, I just thought right now with what kind of sausage I shall serve Shion at dinner. Seriously, what do you think I'm going to do with him? Sell him to some pimp? Stop acting like he's your possession." She raised her voice and looked menacingly at the man. Nezumi's glance was poisonous, as if he intended to kill her on the spot.

"Possession? And what exactly do you know about that you lousy woman?!"

Her fists hit the table so hard that it moved a few inches. The sound of her anger echoed in the room and broke the argument instantly.

She rose from the chair and pulled her coat from the hanger with such force that it threatened the fabric to tear apart.

"Nezumi, these are the last pieces of advice you will ever hear of me." And she thrust aside the inexistent dust from her coat. Elise stood then straight and hit him with an unnerving glare. "First, stop acting like a child. Second, you are not the only one who had suffered in misery, who had had to choose the lesser of two evils or who had lived through the war, death and society plagues. I'm telling you this because I care for you, thing we obviously don't and won't ever have in common. Do you think Shion will always thrive for you? Admiration, friendship, love, sympathy, whatever it is, it will fade and disperse eventually. If you don't start acting accordingly, he will leave you, alone, in the depths of your own despair."

She grabbed the knob and stopped. "Shion, I'll see you tomorrow at six in front of the theater." The door slammed harder, but her words had more impact than any other physical action.

During the argument my mind went blank. I've never seen Nezumi venting his anger on someone, nor did I imagine Elise capable of harboring such anger and hate. Those dark emotions struck me more bitterly than the sound of desperate screams, the smell of burning flesh or the pure despair of the nearly dead people from the Correctional Facility.

I replayed Elise's words over and over until her every word was implanted in my mind, never to forget. As the time passed and my head started to cool off, my eyes never left Nezumi. He was as if in a trance, but the reason was way beyond me. Did her words shook him so much? Did Elise have so much power over Nezumi to leave him in complete silence? Was her anger or her very words at fault?

I pulled the chair calmly and draw it closer to where Nezumi stood. As I sat down, I placed my hand over his.

"Nezumi?" my voice was nothing but gentle and driven by worry. He raised his eyes from the ground and watched me with eyes I could not decipher.

"I… don't really know what your _real_ relationship with Elise is. But whatever that is and whatever happened, despite everything she knows and I still don't, I assure you that there is not even the slightest possibility for me to leave you. Maybe I don't know what happened between the two of you, but she also doesn't know, by her words, through what we've been ourselves."

His eyes were mainly focusing on me now, so I continue, chuckling. "If that was her reaction when you told her, out of worry, that you completely disagree with me working for her, just imagine what her reaction would be if she saw _my_ level of possession. "

Nezumi raised his left brow inquiringly. "Your level of possession?"

"Yes, I would punish anyone who would ever try to kill you." My voice was flat, far more serious and menacing that Elise's. "If anyone dares to threaten your life, I would, without hesitation of any kind, kill him or her on the spot." Our glances didn't waver. "So leaving you is out of question."

Nezumi didn't speak. He was neither surprised nor overthrown by my confession. But at some point, I thought that it eased his troubled soul.

"Anyway, I plan to go and work for her, at least a week or so. I don't think Elise meant any harm with her proposal; it was also your fault for exaggerating and insulting her like that. "

"You trust people too much."

"And you don't do it at all. "

Nezumi smirked and sighed at the same time. "There is no hope left for you."

I smiled in agreement as our hands retreated.

"So, where did you learn to make so many hairstyles?" Nezumi finally asked, while pocking his own hair. The tension deflated completely and our conversations followed their usual pacing.

"It's actually quite funny. You'll never guess." I stated challenging, but Nezumi already set off to the kitchen to make lunch. I followed, continuing my story as I watched the man grabbing a few potatoes from the larder. As he started to peel them, I spoke.

"I think this October would mark a year since Inukashi has been meeting regularly with her postman."

I sat on the counter as Nezumi was sending me curious looks. "Inukashi. With her postman?"

I laughed cheerfully. "Yeah, after a lot of pursuing from my part I convinced her to move closer to the city in a newly built apartment. The government assigned for those without studies easy jobs like that- it was also given to the fact that most of the West Block's residents didn't really know how to use a computer or any complicated gadgets. We killed two birds with one stone, I could say."

Nezumi nodded, amused for some reason. "Anyway, you should have seen her. She got so mad when he first came, didn't understand why he had something that belonged to her only. It took about two months to trust him completely with her mail, but, by the looks of the situation, the man was totally smitten with her from the very start, so he had great patience with Inukashi.

A little after the winter ended, Inukashi barged into my apartment, shocked and panicked because he invited her to the festival. I pursued her to go and thought that a little set up would improve her image."

Nezumi smile became broader and broader as my story started to take form.

"So you decided to make her look pretty by doing her hair."

"Yes. I started researching and even went to a salon to ask one of the employees to give me tips. Well, I kind of lost the purpose by the second day- I memorized all the hairstyles I could find in the books."

"Sounds like you."

Nezumi finished peeling and cleaning the potatoes, cutting them and placing them in a full filled pot.

"The guy was totally mused when he saw Inukashi so well dressed. He stood in front of her, frozen and speechless, that Inukashi almost thought he was mocking her. Well, she got angry, but they made up immediately.

They had a good night."

Nezumi smirked devilish. "You sound like a little stalker. Shouldn't you have spent the night in a different manner?"

"What are you saying? I wanted to know the outcome of my hard work. I'm glad things turned up well between them. "

I seized Nezumi with my eyes as he was cutting some vegetables. Elise's words came in my mind without reason. She thought bad things of Nezumi; that he was a snob acting all highly and mighty. But seeing how peaceful he was when cooking and the small enjoyment the simple action brought him, thinking of how stubborn he could be at times, but also how he tended to back up easily when we argued, I realized that Elise knew little of Nezumi.

The insecurities I had made me look like a fool now.

I caught Nezumi looking at me out of the tail of his eyes."What is it?" I said, letting my head falling backwards, so to take a better picture of Nezumi's face.

"You suddenly fell silent. Thinking about home?"

"Home should be named a place where someone is expecting you, a place where to return to. I think my apartment is too empty for such a grand word."

I said flatly, looking around the kitchen. It was really small. The right side had a counter, the stove, another counter and the sink, the left side being even more poor in furniture, just the larder and a trash can. I started to think that Nezumi actually preferred living in cozy and small places.

"What are you making for today?" I changed the subject into a more comfortable direction, seeing how Nezumi was at a loss for words.

"Stew."

"With potatoes? Wasn't stew supposed to contain meat?"

Nezumi turned his head angrily and shoved the wooden spoon in front of my face.

"If you got any complaints, go buy and make your own food."

"You don't need to get angry, it was just a remark. I'm sure it's delicious whatever you make there."

"Brat, sweet talk won't do." He said, raising the spoon again with a piece of potato onto it and drew it to my mouth. "Taste it."

I opened my mouth and swallowed it wholly. Obviously, I burnt my tongue instantaneously and the small pains from my mouth made tears fell down my both cheeks.

"Idiot! Why didn't you blow it before putting it in your mouth? Do you have no sense?"

He went past me and reached the sink, filled a glass of water and laid it for me. I held onto it as if my life depended on it. The water slid down my throat with the pain intensifying at first, but then slowly disappearing. I thanked him with a fast movement of my head.

"Idiot." He repeated, wiping my tears with his finger. My body shifted uncomfortably at his gesture and the discussion from last night shot as an afterthought through my mind. When he intended to retreat, I gripped his hand tightly and drew it past my shoulder.

"See? The sexual tension I was talking about yesterday." My eyes pointed at his arm.

He gritted his teeth, withdrawing fiercely his seized hand and smashing the other on the counter. Pushing my body to the wall, lifting my arms above my head, he spread my legs wide enough to feel myself as embarrassed as if I was completely naked. He pressed himself between with such demanding power that my chest curled with my arms becoming limp as if some unseen force kept me from resisting.

My body shook hopelessly under his overwhelming claim of domination, feeling as though I was the prey before the beast. I felt the heat coursing through my body, endangering to lit it up and burn it to the ashes. I gasped and let out a small cry, while a raspy breath came out.

He looked at me devouringly; his eyes were mixing lust and impatience. The man eyed the thick strands of my hair, twirling them in his fingers before he brushed his fingers over my full lips, feeling them tremble slightly from the touch.

Nezumi licked his lips cunningly and parted them as if he waited for someone to close the gap between them. The contact that the man lushly made between our chests sent a ripple of distress through me. The sound of our heartbeats was going irregularly as one was desperately trying to reach for the other.

His breathing turned into needles that pricked gradually my neck, my half-closed lips and finally mingling with my own. His other hand glinted down my thigh and forced me forward to him. With the only remaining power I lifted my trembling hand and a new fear shot through me as a small long tongue darted out to playfully lick my fingers. A weird sensation washed through me, as the skin of my ears and cheeks went from pale to a crimson red.

As Nezumi's touches drown my useless body into desire, the inflicted pleasure only burnt it gravely.

And then he sunk his teeth so hard into my fingers that the small cry entangled in my throat was let out into a fatuous scream. My muscles tensed from the pain and then relaxed all over with no trance of the heated pleasure from before.

Nezumi bit so hard that a small ooze of blood coursed down, dripping on the white surface of the counter.

The pleasure was gone and Nezumi's push was enough to send me back to the steel reality.

"That's sexual tension."

He drew back from me and walked towards the stove to get a hold of the boiling stew. I climbed myself down and went to the sink, trying to reduce my cheeks to their normal state, as well as applying cold water on my sullen fingers.

"You bit me."

"I was_ teaching_ you the difference between sexual tension and a simply show of affection."

Nezumi's vulgar behavior sent a foreboding shiver that even the cold water couldn't wash away. The numbness that his touches left on me was oppressive, like my body was sunk deep down on a freezing darkness where even the light would be a meaningless thought of escape. It was not fear - that much I knew. It was much dreadful than the feeling of being left completely alone, hanging silently of the few threads of the people who had left you behind, but whom you trusted to return.

Now I felt like I was only mercilessly falling into oblivion. It was just the deep dark that rejected life and nurtured nothing, just like the desert.

"You don't know the difference either, given that both bore no sincerity in them. It was just one of your acts; you've been alone for so long that you began to mingle the stage life with reality." My words didn't wear any signs or harshness; they were stated flatly with no particular emotion in them. I lifted my head and stared into empty space. "After all, why would you do something like that with someone you didn't find trustworthy enough to give even your real name?"

I felt like I understood nothing, my mind was blank: too blind to see, too inapt to create anything. I couldn't look at Nezumi, I couldn't feel any of him. Did I fear his reaction? Did I spoke the truth? What was in my mind? Was I sincere myself before condemning him?

I considered Nezumi to be someone fully dependent on me because there was none other in his life. But what if my words hurt him? What if I'm no longer welcomed here?

I left the room without even glancing at the man. I dropped on the couch with a headache that could victoriously pass for a migraine. To lose my mind, to lose the power of controlling my own mind, to try to think and find only blankness! That was something that never happened before.

I heard the door slamming powerfully and the noise came as a piercing arrow to my head. I sat there, on the couch, alone in a silence which even the thick sound of the clock could not disturb. Nezumi left and was not to return even after the settling of the sun. The discrepancy between us seemed only to grow deeper as the time engraved itself, passing gently, meandering and vague.

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Please feel free to tell me what you think ^^.


	6. Chapter 5

** Aglie:** Yes, I agree with you, I believe that their emotions represent a mutual fear (Especially in Nezumi's case).

** Anano:** *evil laugh* Shion is just... Shion, if he hadn't spoiled one or two moments like that it wouldn't have been Shion, would he? I tried to explain in this chapter the reason for Shion's indignation and Nezumi's reaction to it. And I won't stop writing, no worries! ^^

** May-Mei:** Yeah, I observed that myself, that's why I want to basically exploit every feeling from their hearts and make something out of it.

** lostdestiny21:** Thank you very much! Here is the update:D.

So, thank you every one for reviewing, it made me happy reading them. Also, thank you for adding me to your favorite and such. *bright smile*

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**Chapter 5:**

_The darkness shifted restlessly, lurking from the depths of the alley's unseen corners. It was not welcoming; it lashed forward, materializing. I walked unconsciously towards a direction I could not give a name to. _

_I felt the crunch of someone's bones under my boots. I let my head fall down to see what I stepped on. Someone cried out, I was surprised._

_ Karan's pale face appeared as an only source of light in the invading darkness. Her crisped face glowed. I looked at her tenderly as she smiled uncannily. _

_ "Why are you lying on the road? Did you fell? Let me help you."_

_ As I tried to stop and give her a hand, my legs lashed forward with such force and determination, stepping on her once, twice, thrice. Her adorning face let out the sound of a porcelain piece being broken over and over again. _

_ All words that insinuated the stopping of my movement were left in my throat, unable to come outside. Karan was no more. _

_ "Shion? What are you doing?"_

_ I wanted to speak, to apologize, to stop._

_ "Shion, you are hurting me,"_

_ And I passed her._

_ "Shion? Where are you leaving? Did you forget about me?"_

_ Although the distance between us was increased, the sound of her voice became louder, deeper, more terrifying than any other horror I could imagine._

_ "Why Shion? Why won't you cry? Why won't you stop? Why would you only forget?"_

"Shion!"

My eyes snapped open. I heard a scream and realized it was mine, and then my mouth shot itself involuntarily. Sweat was rolling all over me and my eyes began to focus on the empty ceiling.

I felt someone else's warmth coming through my fingers and I jerked my head in horror. For a split second, I imagined myself seeing Karan's broken face and her blooded fingers wrapping around mine, patronizing my existence, but instead, Nezumi's worried face gave me a greater shock.

"Nezumi! You're back."

And my memories started to fall back - the argument between me and Nezumi from that afternoon, how he left and never returned; how I eventually fell asleep on the bed waiting for him.

The terror from the nightmare and the fear of facing Nezumi sent my mind to a devastating state, the room was spinning around and I couldn't focus. I felt sick.

I shut my eyes, trying to hide the burning of the tears that threatened to spill. The only wish I had that very moment was to be buried in the ground, to disappear completely, to evaporate from anyone's mind like I was never born to being with.

Useless to everyone, meaningless to the world, haunted by my own mother, there was no place left for me.

My body shook violently; my breathing was irregular, sometimes inhaling too much air, sometimes forgetting to even let it out. My throat convulsed with winces, painful cries. Another wave of sweat tingled down my skin.

Nezumi's fingers wrapped harder on my hand, but that was hardly of any help to my hopeless state.

_"Wind sweeping souls up and away;_

_This heart, man has stolen away._

_Oh mother earth, oh father sky,_

_Hear me, wind and light -_

_Care for those who live here, who call this home,_

_Care for those who live here where we belong,_

_Flourish here beside us._

_Heart and soul, oh, love and warmth, oh, emotion hear my plea,_

_Come back, come, return and_

_Linger here, stop and stay awhile. "_

My heart regained its pace, my eyelashes shifted slightly, my lips parted, my body lost the tension, and the calmness took me as the sound engraved in my ears. My eyes finally opened and the first image that clearly formed onto my retina was Nezumi's graceful face when singing.

When the melody reached its end, there was only one thing that my mind processed – Nezumi. He was nothing but desolate. With his head turned, he looked absently at some inexistent spot in the humid air. The night wind tangled slowly in his hair, making it dance peacefully in the dark. One hand resting on mine and the other sustaining his chin as his elbow was trying to fight the little space between my body and the edge of the bed.

"_Tic. Tac. Tic. Tac."_ The clock announced the passing seconds.

Nezumi finally turned his head and his features betrayed such loneliness that my heart was as strangled.

"You calmed down." He stated, rising from the ground, climbing beside me. He let his arms fall limply above his head as he stared hard at the ceiling.

"Where have you been?" I asked.

"Around."

"When did you come back?"

"I was outside a few minutes ago, but I heard your screams from the other side of the street. I thought someone broke in and tried something on you, but it was just a nightmare." His voice was low and flat.

_Right. I was having a nightmare. _

And the dream pierced my mind like a bullet. I curled up like a baby and placed myself closer to Nezumi.

"'_Why Shion? Why won't you cry? Why won't you stop? Why would you only forget?'_ She screamed. These past three days the only thing I have been doing was to forget her, to trespass her like she never existed in the first place." My voice trembled slightly as I spoke.

Nezumi turned his body completely to face me properly.

"What do you want, Shion?" He blurted out.

I looked quizzically at him. "What do I want?"

"Yes."

"I…" but there was nothing that came after that. What did I truly wish for? I thought hard, but my mind was nothing but blinded by darkness.

His sigh could easily cover the clock's sound.

"I just wondered… how should I help someone like you, who doesn't know a thing? To not know what you wish for… What should I do?" I couldn't understand Nezumi. Did he just ponder or were his words directed to me?

I felt guilty and useless, but feared Nezumi's thoughts the most. What if he decided he couldn't help me?

"Do you want to forget or to accept?" He eyed me, as to indicate it was a directed question.

To this question I could answer, at least.

"I don't want to forget. Karan was… she is my mother, I can't ever forget something like that and I don't want her death to be something that simply passes by, as my mind has the tendency to do. I hate myself for that, strange, isn't it? She died miserably, she was stabbed for bread – it is horrible, so I don't want her death to sink into oblivion."

Nezumi was waiting, knowing somehow that I did not finish speaking my mind.

"But I don't think I can accept it either. Such miserable death can't be accepted. I couldn't… still can't follow the course – deny it, get angry, bargain, get depressed and finally accept it. I can't do any of that, I just… can't." I paused and thought about it all over. "Maybe that's why my mind, no, my heart tries to throw everything aside, to forget; because there is nothing else that I'm capable of doing."

"I assume this is the first time you lose someone dear to you."

I thought about my father and Safu, given that they were the only persons that I've lost in my entire life. My father left at my birth. I was too little to remember anything related to him and I've never sought his comfort or warmth. Safu was a different story; her death was something me and Nezumi never talked about. But when I thought of Safu, strange fervor coursed through my body and melted all the uneasiness. I've never felt grief upon her death.

My silence worked as an answer for Nezumi. He shifted uncomfortably, facing me. Seeing his resentful eyes, I considered his situation. I knew little of his past, but more than enough to understand through what grief, sadness and suffer he had to live with. His parents were burned alive and the scar on his back demanded him to carry that awful memory for the rest of his life.

For a fleeting instant, my mind was focused only on Nezumi's pain. I gave him a genuine look of tenderness and pressed my hand on his shoulder. He flinched at first, but seeing that I meant neither sympathy nor pity, he let me moving my hand to his back. Through the cold fabric of his shirt, my fingers caressed gently his scar.

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"I just came running to you without considering your situation. You also think I'm silly and stupid." I confessed.

"Shion, what are you talking about? My situation?"

I pressed my hand harder on his scar. "You parents had a horrible death; I can't even imagine how much you suffered."

His inquire kept still on his face. "That's past." Then his eyes were filled with anger. "It's been 16 years, I don't even remember my parent's faces anymore."

"And doesn't it haunt you that you forgot? Isn't something deep down inside you that's bothering you?" My eyes held nothing but pure curiosity. For the first time, I thought that Nezumi's past could be an answer to my issues.

Nezumi anger deflated. "My sole purpose was survival, what haunted me was the thought of some shithead stabbing me in the open market and leaving me dead on the street. I never thought of anything else because that would have softened my senses. Remaining alive was far more important that remembering the faces of people that would never return."

Nezumi had a point, but one that would apply only to himself. I could never be as stronger as him. To simply cast his emotions and take everything rationally, to refuse to trust anyone for the sole purpose of surviving, to succumb to a comfortable life while your dearest people had a miserable death… that was something I could never do.

Nezumi raised his hand and caressed my cheek lightly. His fingers were still cold and the touch only send more shivers on my body. My frown disappeared before I could realize it was there.

"Shion, giving that you're an airhead, you probably just thought of a way to get answers from my past. Don't. I told you before, I'm me and you're you."

He gazed straight at me, the grey from his eyes calmer than before.

"Then what should I do?" I asked.

Nezumi didn't seem to be deterred from my question, his usual skeptical eyes were now replaced with glittering ones.

"Think of it Shion. What would Karan like you to do?"

My eyes widened, considering his question. I forgot how to breathe as the words processed slowly. What was Nezumi saying?

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"What would make Karan happy? Giving she's your mother, it's not that hard to guess."

I've never considered Karan's happiness in such a matter. With a horrible death like hers, what could be considered happiness? I watched Nezumi bewilderedly.

Nezumi sighed. "Hypothetically speaking, if you had been the one that died and if she was alive, what would you have wished for?"

The frown appeared between my brows before another thought crossed my mind. "Nezumi, I d-don't think t-that is…"

"Just think." He ordered, his gaze never leaving mine. Nezumi was calm and conceited.

I took a deep breath and thought of it. It was a horrid thought, really. The simple idea of not being able to stand alongside Nezumi, to speak with him, to touch him, to feel him in every sense – or mother, not being able to embrace Karan, to feel her motherly warmth… there was nothing more harrowing.

But Nezumi's demand gave safety to the thought. I had faith in his judgment and I truly believed I would discover something that would give me a lead in the future.

After a while, I placed my eyes on his and spoke gradually.

"I believe… I don't know if it's righteous, or rational, but I wouldn't want you or Karan to suffer or grieve over me. I'd want you to be happy and carry on with your lives and find other people that would fit you and suffice your needs in every way. "

Nezumi's blasé attitude softened into cordiality. My words also seemed to sadden him and make him look indecisive in weather to say or not something over this hypothetic discussion. He wanted badly to speak, but he didn't.

Short while though, he sighed. "See my point? You would want Karan to be happy and not grieve all her life over your death. I think she wishes the same thing for you. Karan would want you to live your life happily and accordingly to your own wishes."

I was taken aback by his words. I never thought so. But he was right in some way. I thought of the time when I returned to No.6 and how she never asked question, never complained to my silence, how happy she had been for the mere fact I was alive and well. She had always placed my happiness and well being over everything else.

My eyes narrowed.

"You might be right."

"I am. It's not wrong to want to forget, it's just natural. If forgetting would bring less sorrow to your soul and would lead to the acceptance of the fact, then go for it."

"But to just forget is…"

"Accept yourself first." Nezumi cut me off. "How you ignorantly passed by her cold bloodied body, accept it. How you ran away from No.6, from every memory that the city held with both of you, which would make you feel guilty and would have hurt your delicate conscience, accept it. Accept your weakness first; your ignorance, and only then you will be able to accept her death."

Nezumi's words weren't harsh, he did not speak out of loath or hate or reasonless morality – there was only truth in his demands. This very man that stood in front of me spoke the truths that my mind refused to conceive in the past six months. He spoke so clear, with so much freedom in his words, there was nothing more refreshing, I felt suddenly invigorating, and like every letter that crossed his lips was some sort of energy providing life.

I smiled. One genuine, simple, relieved smile.

"Thank you, Nezumi."

In that moment, I saw nothing but hope and faith in him.

We stood like that for a while, in a silence perturbed only by the clock where the wind made its way through the cracked window. It was a silence that didn't need interruption. Both of our hands broke from the constant moving on each other's body.

But Nezumi's gaze returned to its initial state- lost, desolate, evasive. It worked as a trigger for my mind, the fight from today came as a punch in the face.

"Nezumi, I'm sorry for today. I was too harsh with my words. I didn't mean to say you are a fake. I'm really sorry."

Nezumi smirked coldly. "So you are not apologizing for what you said, but for how you said it."

I didn't want to make Nezumi mad, but I didn't wish to lie to him either.

"I…"

"You what?"

"It's just that…"

Nezumi started to get impatient, his eyes fully focused on me again.

"You know… when you did all those… things." I struggled to explain. "Your eyes just…"

He suddenly lifted his head from his pillow. "My eyes what, Shion?"

"You were looking through me, that's it."

He looked at me quizzically and repeated my answer a few times, offended.

"You were not looking at me in particular, only at me, you were seeing past me, your body was with me, but your mind wondered somewhere else." My chest ached for unknown reasons. I tried to make the best of my answers, but Nezumi only seemed to be displeased.

He let his head fell back on the pillow.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Stop apologizing, for fuck's sake! God damn it." He cursed angrily, turning to the wall. And the conversation was over.

* * *

The following morning both breakfast and lunch went smoothly and Nezumi was back to his usual self and didn't mention the last night's discussion. At six o'clock I was in front of the theater where Elise was already waiting for me. She was nothing but smiles on the road to her house. She talked vigilantly about many things and there was never silence between us. Elise also didn't bring Nezumi up, he was no topic of discussion as I observed.

Work was really nice and relaxing, as I wouldn't have expected. My first assignment was a hairstyle for a banquet organized by one of her friends where some foreigners would attend. It was neither private nor a public event, so I figured a bun made from a twisted braid would fit the best. She was very pleased and paid me accordingly.

And so another two weeks passed and the day of Charlie's new play came: _The Misanthrope_. Nezumi played Alceste, the protagonist and the misanthrope of the title, a man that could not help but be quick to criticize the flaws of everyone around him, including himself. Despite his loath for her behavior, Alceste couldn't help but fall in love with Célimène, role given to Elise.

Although the main reactions of the public were either silent chuckles or sudden burst of laughter, no matter how you viewed the play, it was a tragedy in the end.

After Alceste had insulted a sonnet written by the nobleman Oronte, and had been called to trial where he had refused to give false compliments, he was charged and humiliated. He later discovered that Célimène had been leading him on, but, given his deep feelings for her that mainly countered all her negative aspects, he gave her an ultimatum: he would have forgiven her and married her if she had run away with him to exile. Obviously, Célimène thought she was too young and beautiful to give up society, so she refused. Alceste, heart-broken and hateful towards the world, decided to exile himself from society and the play ended.

Alceste and Nezumi had many things in common, and I could approve of Charlie's choice when giving the roles. There were times during the play when I thought Nezumi was the one speaking, not Alceste, the same thing going for Elise. When I thought of Nezumi, I didn't see a misanthrope, it was too harsh of a word to describe him, but I believed there were many notion of the society that Nezumi rejected or couldn't even comprehend. He lived in West Block and his sole reason in life was survival, I can't even imagine what an impact had the nowadays society on him. For instance, he couldn't understand the meaning of a banquet after a play drove successfully to its end. Charlie insisted, Elise insisted indirectly, through me, and obviously, I had to pull the triggers and convince him to go the following night.

"If they want to thank me, then they should give me gold coins, not invite me to such stupid things." So he said, angrily, at my first attempt.

Elise invited me, although I believe her scheme was for more complicated than that because when I yelled at Nezumi, telling him I would attend the banquet alone, he got angrier and said "As if I'm letting you. You're an airhead and a magnetic field for troubles. " And so I convinced him to come.

Elise wanted to impress, obviously, given that many noblemen around town would attend, so I put my best into a fallera hairdo. It was an elaborate hairstyle consisting of two spiraled buns on either side of the head and two braids wound around the back of the head. She was so astonished of her appearance that she gave me another 3 silver coins.

Nezumi, after another round of pleas and insistence form my part, let me do his hair. I wanted him to look manly, although my mind was full of nothing but women hairstyles. I let a few straps of hair to frame his face, while I tied a loose ponytail a few inches above the middle of his back. He looked rather Chinese, but it suited him well.

I remained at the fishtail hairstyle, although I made it much more complex in comparison to the other times I wore it.

We arrived there a little past eight o'clock and the salon was already hazardous. Nezumi hated huge gatherings. He probably thought of trying to remain unobserved and let the night pass calmly as he would stand in a corner, drinking and mocking everybody else. Obviously, that was just a lie he kept telling himself, because he drew so much attention that the whole room was completely mute when he walked in. Women between twenty and thirty came running to him, asking silly question and paying him compliments for his acting, dressing and such.

I, on the other hand, met Elise's gaze and went straight to her. She chuckled devilishly watching Nezumi being assaulted. Elise enjoyed it greatly when Nezumi was suffering or when he had to be polite in situation when he definitely wanted to just kill everyone and fled the city.

"An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." She talked to herself, in retaliation to what happened two weeks ago in Nezumi's apartment.

"I think you were too hard on Nezumi." I spoke to her, she didn't flinch.

"He called me a lousy woman, you can't just tell that to a woman, especially when it's not true at all."

"Well, I've been working for you in the past 2 weeks and I can say you've been meeting 5, if not 6 different men." I pointed sharply.

She lifted her chin and turned her face to me. "What are you trying to imply with that? That I'm some kind of whore?"

"I didn't imply anything, I just spoke the truth. It's the impression that you leave behind what gives birth to such speculations." I said tersely. "So is Nezumi's case. You may think he sees everything as a child's play. I don't know how much you know of him, but there are many obvious hints that he encountered some hardships."

She huffed displeased. "So what? Does that make him free of guilt? There are many people here that have lived through hardships but they don't behave like him."

"No." I answered. "But he didn't really ever talk to you about himself, about his past, so you don't really know the full extensions of his sorrow, sadness or grief. It's the impression that he leaves behind what guides you to believe what you believe."

She fixed her glare on me. "So you are saying we are judging each other by impressions and not facts."

I moved my head in agreement. She smiled and put on the table the glass of wine she was savoring only moments ago.

"Pretty smart of you. Would you dance with me?"

A tinge of blush covered my cheeks as I let my head fall down. She gave out her usual girlish chuckle.

"I-it's been a while s-since I danced, I don't think I'll be a good partner."

"What are you saying? Don't be embarrassed! Follow my lead." She spoke vivaciously as she grabbed both of my arms and waltzed to the center of the salon.

There were many gazes that immediately fell upon us, going from jealous, angry, lusty ones up through many others full of admiration for what Elise truly was. Nezumi was the only one that watched us coldly through the crowd that surrounded him. Was it a lack of feeling or a restraint of his emotions? I could never tell, but I knew that it hurt me more than if he had loathed or despised me.

Elise's giggles, as I tried to keep up with her pace, made me concentrate on my legs. After the first waltz ended I could say that I had enough faith in myself to at least look at her while we danced through the second song.

She eyed me cunningly.

"So, what do you think of Nezumi?"

Her question took me by surprise. She said it as a conclusion to what we had spoken before.

I thought many things of Nezumi and I could have begun to list them, but I got the feeling that Elise wanted me to give a straight, accurate answer. I was incapable of that, obviously. I felt it almost impossible to describe all of Nezumi in just one or two words.

Reticent and silent as I was, Elise spoke again.

"I think he hates to be alone."

I raised my eyebrows. Elise had this tendency of the unpredictability – she was always surprising me with her thoughts.

"You don't seem to disagree."

I didn't really disagree with her; it was just not the first thing that someone would say.

"Well, given his apartment arrangement I couldn't disagree with you."

"His apartment?"

"Yes. He lives alone, but still has two bowls for soup, two mugs for tea and two chairs for his table. No more, no less. I found it strange at first, but I didn't dare to ask, he would have probably got angry. You see, for him, longing for another human being is some kind of weakness. But yet again, he doesn't like for others to see his weaknesses, so why would he be so obvious about them?" I wondered, as I glanced around the room to spot Nezumi.

"I've never thought of that." She confessed, a bit ashamed.

After a moment of silence, she spoke again. "Have he told you something about me?"

"Despite the fact that she doesn't trust you at all, no, he told me nothing." My blatancy had been something new for her the first week and she even scolded me a few times for it.

Elise didn't seem surprise at my answer. She looked indecisive, I tried to force it.

"Is there something I should know?" It was mere curiosity, maybe that's why she chose to spoke that night.

"What relationship do you think is between us?"

Elise, when she answered someone, she assured herself that she got a least half the information she was giving.

"A close one. Nezumi wouldn't let a stranger or some _colleague_, as he calls you, venture in and out his apartment." I paused, seeing no reaction of her. "Maybe… intimate?" Only the thought made my body tense in Elise's firm grip.

"It is intimate." She agreed. "Or at least, it was. We used to have sex when we felt lonely, left alone at the end of the world with no one caring about our lives." She stated, with a dramatic choice of words.

I felt uncomfortable, embarrassed and my chest ached in betrayal, but not of what Nezumi did, but because he never mentioned it to me. I felt useless and pathetic in that very moment.

"D-did he… come to you?"

"We both came to each other. However, we realized there was nothing deep in what we were doing, just the simple crave for someone else. You are the evidence. After you came, he stopped visiting me, even the usual exchange of greetings or small talks are gone."

I felt bad for her, really, but I couldn't find any words to raise her spirits. I struggled to give her some kind of comfort but nothing came out.

"I've never seen Nezumi as possessive as he is with you, it took me by complete surprise. If it was me, I could have told him that I slept with another man and he wouldn't even lift a finger. He wouldn't know what to say, what to do. Should he have felt jealous? Should he have gone to the man and punch him in the face? Nezumi didn't know such things, because he didn't feel many of them. He was very… awkward when it came down to those things." She paused, breathing tiredly. "Nezumi's being glaring at you since we started dancing. I bet he didn't even observe himself doing so."

There was sorrow in her eyes, but not one from a betrayed lover. It was the kind of sadness you have when you realize you are not the first choice in a particular matter. But yet again, it was Elise, a woman that was the epitome of mystery.

She stopped and grabbed another glass of wine.

"That's it, thank you for this spectacular dance. I can already assume who taught you to dance." She giggled, as if there were no worries in the world. "Take care of him, Shion. I can tell he is in distress, there are some bad things that have been troubling him recently – he probably needs you the most right now."

She spoke gingerly, and then sighed. "Now that more than half the men here are stirring around and their women are very wary of me, you can have your time with Nezumi."

And she passed me with vivacious steps and went to the side of the room where a few men gathered and where, almost all of the women had directed their attention.

I spotted Nezumi in one of the room's corners and went straight there. Only a few meters were enough for his cold gaze to pierce mine.

"Nezumi." I said, breathing heavily.

"You seem out of breath. How was the dance?" He asked mockingly.

"It went well, although it was hard at first to keep the pace. How was the meeting with your admirers?" I shot in retaliation.

"Admirers? I hadn't had such a powerful murderous intent towards human beings since I've been living in West Blocks. I just can't understand how some women can be so annoying and still living." He seemed pissed and raging with fury, so I didn't want to step on his tail further than that.

We stood in silence, Nezumi still drinking from his glass of whiskey.

"So? What did you two talked about?" he asked after a while.

"Nothing interesting."

"Really? You face did all kind of funny stuff, at some point you looked so embarrassed that your whole face was red. "

I froze in the spot. Nezumi was already mad, so it was clear that if I brought up the discussion we will end up fighting. I had no such intent, so I had to give him a lie.

"She was giving me… advice."

"Advice?" He inquired, warily.

"Yeah… bed advice."

Nezumi burst into laughter and didn't stop until some tears formed at the corner of his years. It was the first time seeing Nezumi laughing so… naturally. I smiled at him, giving myself a small laugh.

I didn't know if my lie was good enough, but the tension and Nezumi's foul mood deflated instantaneously.

And the night passed us in this manner, in laughs and good moods. Seemingly, Elise made me look good in front of a few ladies, so I had to dance with them, although Nezumi's eyes looked rather menacing when they came at me. At my insistence, he invited one of the women to dance and everyone cheered and clapped their hands happily. Elise left earlier, around eleven, with a lithe blond man, rather young but very mannered and careful with his words. I kissed her cheek and thanked her for inviting me, even Nezumi felt the need to say goodbye, giving that the following day we would have left the city. Elise hugged gingerly the both of us and ruffled our hair motherly.

When the clock struck one o'clock, Nezumi and I exited the salon ourselves, went to the apartment, and slept through the rest of the night. When the first rises of sunshine lightened the sky, we were already up and ready to return to No.6.


	7. Chapter 6

_** color2413, Aglie, Thanks4theupdate**_ thank you very much for leaving a comment.

** color2413, I appreciate very much that you made time to look over my chapter with a more critic eye and even write down some of my mistake. I was really glad to have read your comment. Hm... my mistakes are mainly due to the fact that after I write 12-15 pages on word, I loose all of my patience when I look over the chapter and I tend to miss many mistakes. But now, I looked over chapter 6 more carefully, I hope at least some of the mistakes have been corrected. **

**P.S: If you are interested to beta-read... I would totally love to work with you. Send me a pm or something :D. **

* * *

** Guys, sorry for the late update but I've been on a vacation for the past month. I returned recently; the chapter is a bit shorter, but I hope you will enjoy it as much as the other ones.  
**

_**Chapter 6:**_

No.6 was the epitome of civilization revolution. The outstanding comeback of a society that only a half of decade ago had every aspect of life meticulously surveyed and controlled, was now a change that the other five cities took as a relief and a threat altogether.

After the fall of the wall, there were many that rebelled to the newly accustomed freedom that raised roughly the crime rate and led the concept of discrimination and racial differences to a whole new level, more dangerous and exposed that it had been in the first place. But what kept the city away from civil war were the many others that embraced the change. They were the older citizens that knew No.6 before the building of the wall, and saw the situation as a refreshing change, as a more humanly and adequate way of living life. They realized from a long time ago that no matter how hard one would try, he would never be able to either stop the crimes, to heal and disperse the hatred of a suffering soul, nor to cease war without engaging yourself into one.

Seeing No.6 after eight months, a mixture of nostalgia and fear cast its shadow over my heart. Cold shivers run down my spine, as Nezumi's eyes were resting with a natural loath on the city's unusual stretch on what was known as West Blocks.

I jumped in front of him, consciously taking the lead on the muddy street. The man didn't argue.

After walking in silence for a short while, Nezumi, a few steps behind me, shifted angrily and spoke.

"Where are we going? I remember my place being in the opposite direction."

"Well, _your _place is locked momentarily. The key is in my apartment." I explained, without turning. I raised my eyes and gazed at the sun - how hastily No.6's highest buildings obscured its burning red shines."We can go there in the morning, the sun is already down."

Nezumi didn't say anything for a response. We walked in silence with steady pacing as Nezumi threw careful glances at every building that he didn't recognize.

I've been living in a five-storied building for two years now. Each floor had four apartments, so the place was pretty lively on the weekends, when the kids went freely outside, playing in front of the building under their parents' watch from the vintage balconies. Being one of the first No.6's citizens that embraced the idea of living at the outskirts of the city, I lived on the first floor, first apartment, and the biggest among all. When I unlocked the door, the smell of frowst made my nose twitch a few times. Vacant for almost a year, the place, _my home_, was wrapped in a stiff, dead atmosphere. Even the clock that I had in the living room chased to make even the faintest noise, the batteries were obviously worn out. "Such a lively place." Nezumi commented sarcastically. "I can't wait to see your place." I shot back. "I could have left for ten years, but my place wouldn't look as dead. Even a graveyard would send a more pleasant feeling than this." He spoke with cruelty as he launched in one of the sofas. I turned on the lights in the living room. Already accustomed to the dark, Nezumi covered his eyes when the unexpected source of light hit his face.

"Electricity, huh? How fancy. "

Nezumi was nothing but mocking. I intended to argue, but a loud growl came from Nezumi's stomach. He looked as surprised as me; he didn't even realize how hungry he was.

"Well, I'm hungry." He announced.

I scowled. "What do you propose with that?"

"Make me something to eat."

I got angry immediately. "Huh? I don't remember being your servant."

Nezumi seemed to be in a more displeased state than me. "Ha? What's that? Have your little brain forgotten how I fed you when you barged uninvited into my house?"

His awful remark took me aback. The argument was pointless and childish when it first started, but hearing Nezumi's opinion on the matter I was nothing but stupefied and driven with anger. Was I to him just another uninvited mouth to feed?

But the argument broke as a knock in the door caught our attention. I left his gaze and answered.

A pair of amber eyes met my gaze, as a broad smile was captured between two well-curved crimson lips. The beautiful features that indicated nothing but impatience were contoured by an equally gorgeous chestnut hair.

"Shion! I knew it was you. I saw you from the balcony." Her voice was too high congruent to her adorning appearance.

I felt Nezumi shifting around in the sofa, trying to peek.

"Eva." I said calmly.

Copying Nezumi's gesture, she shifted impatiently, trying to peek into my house. "I saw a woman walking beside you. Don't try to hide it Shion. I want to meet her." Eva explained excitingly. There was some sort of hidden ambition in her tone.

"Eva, you're married. To my boss, no less. Please." Eva was the co-worker who used to be mesmerized by my looks and propose to me and who, after my flat refusal, married our boss.

I made no comment about Nezumi being a man. Feeling insulted, I believe, he raised and walked to the door, pushing me aside.

He bowed theatrically and gently pressed his lips in form of a kiss on her right hand.

"It's an exquisite pleasure to meet you, Eva. Still, I'm afraid I have to disappoint you by saying I'm no woman, in fact, I am quite the man." He spoke with such nonchalance that Eva remained mute for a second. The meaningful romantic smile that concluded his words sent the woman to heavens. She was smitten for good.

I sighed desperately. Nezumi was pissing me off more than the usual.

After a while, Eva regained her composure.

"Well, you are a fine man." She said, but then averted her eyes and watched me instead. "I can't wait to hear what you've been doing for a year. Come to dinner. Alec is cooking tonight."

I couldn't say anything, because Nezumi accepted immediately. I sighed again. That was his plan the whole time, wasn't it?

We closed the door behind us and followed Eva's delicate paces. She was living at the third floor, in a smaller apartment, but comfy and lively decorated. She fancied the red color, so most of the furniture was a combination of different shades of red with other colors. Alec, her husband, told me once that they almost wanted to call off the weeding when the matter of the wedding dress came up. Eva wanted it red, obviously, but the tradition was to be white. Alec was a convinced Christian, but Eva refused to believe in something that couldn't be proven to exist, no less to let it abide her with rules like the wedding dress being white. They argued and finally came to an agreement. She wore white, but the dress-code for those who attended was red dresses or suits.

Anyway, before becoming our boss, Alec worked as a chef in a sophisticated restaurant. I became hungry just thinking of it. When we crossed her house's door, the smell captured our senses and my mouth began to water in anticipation.

A man in his twenties came to welcome us. He was taller than Nezumi and had short blond hair that contrasted with his cobalt eyes. Although his mouth remained still, his eyes were cheerful.

"I'm Alec." He introduced himself, raising his hand. "I suppose you are the guys that Eva run off to. " He said, chuckling at the thought of his wife.

"Shion, it's been a while." He said, shaking my hand vigorously. He turned to Nezumi and held his hand. "You are…?"

"Nezumi." He replied with a smiling face, shaking Alec's hand. Nezumi was friendly… too friendly, I almost felt bad for having stolen his food the last time we ate. He had to be starving for showing so much affection to complete strangers.

Alec and Eva showed both a puzzled look. "Nezumi?" They asked simultaneously. "Like the rat?" Eva continued. Nezumi nodded and his glance allowed no further question on the matter.

After a short lived silence, Alec spoke again. "Well, I pretty much imagined you're going to bring someone over so I put two extra plates on the table. Let's eat together for now." He smiled and disappeared from our sight.

Eva led us to the living room where a grand table where six persons could have easily dined occupied a quarter from the whole space. The table was from a massive whitish wood, but the table cloth was a pale red. They went well together, not strident for the eyes, rather calm and comfy.

We sat down in pairs, me beside Nezumi and Eva alongside Alec. The first dish we served was broth, a soup consisting of vegetables chunks with rice cooked in stock. It was not a complicated recipe, but with the right flavor and a bit of heart in it, it could make a masterpiece. I thanked with the traditional "Itadakimasu", Alec whispered a short prayer and Eva and Nezumi simply started eating.

"So, Shion, you can start telling us what you've been doing this past year." Eva said, sipping a full spoon of soup.

Nezumi looked a bit indecisive about this topic. On the other hand, I had no reason to keep back from telling Eva and Alec about my so called holiday.

"When Karan passed away, it hit me harder than I thought. My mind was clouded with grief - an extended vacation seemed the best choice for rehabilitation."

Eva's smile dropped a bit, but her eyes were encouraging. "Alec told me. Still, a one year vacation… we were really worried. There were many than asked about you. Not to say we couldn't find someone at least half as good as you to replace you at work."

I smiled and continued. "Well, many things happened."

Eva's smile revived. "Ooh!" She exclaimed loudly. "You mean your meeting with Nezumi!" Alec laughed genuinely at her reaction.

"Actually, I've known Nezumi before the Fall."

"Really?" She directed his question to Nezumi; the man just nodded, too absorbed with the soup's taste.

"He left, though, a few days after that and has been traveling ever since. It was that kind of journey you read of in the classics, when one's in the search of his own soul." I said with a clear poverty of drama. I chuckled in my own amusement. Eva and Alec followed, only Nezumi, faking his anger, hit me with his elbow.

After the laughter ended, I continued. "Speaking honestly, I hoped to find Nezumi. I was dead sure that speaking out my mind in front of him would send my mind to ease. We met unexpectedly at the theater and after spending some days together I started to feel better, the horrible grief started to dissipate."

Eva continued smiling. "Well, you definitely seem livelier than before. However, I'm a bit sad that you had to go to such harsh extents. If something bothered you, you could have tried to speak with us, I'm sure that I and Alec would have given you some peace of mind."

Alec nodded in agreement with her. The tenderness in her voice softened my heart and I gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, I didn't want to cause you any trouble. I'll keep that in mind."

She smiled pleasantly and Alec gave me a pat on the hand as he walked towards the kitchen to bring the second dish, grilled salmon. Nezumi shifted uncomfortably in his seat at the sudden change in atmosphere. Such warmth and tenderness, the dining let off the feeling of a family reunion. He didn't mutter another word for the rest of the night. Eva, though, was as loquacious as ever. She kept talking about other coworkers of ours – their fights, their childish arguments, their secret meetings, their gossips, even their cheating life. Eva was the kind of person that gathered information easily and was a quick judger of the character. She was someone that strongly believed in the power of a first impression, how strongly it could influence the opinion on others.

The chit-chats continued for another hour or so, and after another exchange of good-night greetings and many compliments from my part for the delicious food, we left the couple's apartment.

Nezumi seemed bothered for some reason. I watched him expectantly as we were descending the stairs. He gave no response to my hard stare.

"The meal was delicious."

He smirked. "That's because it was free."

I knitted my brows and a wrinkle formed between. I stopped and turned at him.

"Seriously Nezumi, what the fuck is your problem?" He was totally getting on my nerves with that ass-hole attitude of his. Did he find it that hard to be nice when talking?

Nezumi chased to make another step and jumped slightly at my sudden burst of anger.

"Ha?! _My_ problem?"

"Yeah. Is it that hard for you to give a compliment?" Seeing his blasé attitude, anger took rapidly over my mind. "Of course, your pride is a thousand time more important than anything else." I could no longer control my words. "Hah." I gave a last desperate laugh. "Idiotic me. What could I expect from someone who, after all this shit, considers me just another mouth to feed?"

My arms fell limply beside my torso. I started walking again, in silence. I shook with anger, but I believed that any further argument would be pointless and that would infuriate me more.

Nezumi started to take small steps behind me.

"Shion…" He whispered. "You know that I don't consider you that."

"Damn hell I don't."

He caught my arm, but I shoved him off immediately. "You'd better damn learn how to speak, treat and respect others before you touch me again. Stupid rat." I yelled, shouting loudly the door in his face before entering the living room. He opened and closed it in a deathlike silence; his lips didn't dare to move apart from each other.

I left the living room in a foul mood; there was nothing that infuriated me more than his superior attitude. He was the one calling me childish and an airhead, but in reality he was the one behaving as such.

I sighed again when I realized there was no hot water. Cursing, I took the shower anyway and the coldness kept me still on the spot. For a short while, my mind went blank. When my body started to shook uncontrollably, I jumped off the tub, wrapped a towel around my hips and went searching for some clean boxers and pajamas.

Seeing myself dried and fully dressed, I went to the double bed without giving any glance to the living room where I left Nezumi. I stayed like that for a while, in mute silence, with the only sound of my heartbeats. I think it was a little after half an hour when I heard the bathroom's door and a soft voice whistling a song. Guiltiness captured me like no other feeling, although it was clear that Nezumi was the one who had wronged. I cocooned in the mattress in my own childish manner of trying to avoid the wide range of thoughts that penetrated my mind. I thought that maybe I was too harsh on him, maybe he felt out of place, completely unfamiliar in that atmosphere. Was I really the ignorant here?

As my own mind was pestering me greatly, I failed to sense Nezumi placing himself beside me with a strong grip of his arms around my torso. His warm breath on the nape of my neck sent shivers all over my body. It felt like the time froze while he continued holding me in that manner. The grip grew stronger and stronger and I found it was quite hard to breath.

"Nezu-mi… Loosen off a bit, I-I can't breathe."

"I'm sorry." He said tersely, but the grip only grew stronger. "I'm sorry, Shion."

I placed my hand on his and tried to unclench it before Nezumi drew the last breath out of me. When the air came in and out my lungs like it used to be, I turned around to face the man. His grey eyes glittered in the night's blackness. They held such pain and deep remorse that my thoughts softened quickly and I immediately gave him a worried glance.

"Nezumi, what's wrong? Something is troubling you."

He clicked his tongue and avoided my gaze. "Tell me." I encouraged sternly.

"It's just… Seriously, Shion, why did you even come to me?"

I gave him a confused looks. "I don't understand."

"For fuck's sake, Shion, you have a damn number of people here ready to jump any minute for you. Why did you even bother to come to the end of the world to find me when No.6 can provide you with anything?"

I was stunned with his confession. Was Nezumi feeling… useless? His pain and repulsion was caused by such a reason. I gritted my teeth in anger and a second later the only sound that perturbed the silence was the loud impact between my palm and his sullen face. His own anger deflated and mine grew stronger.

"How could you say such idiotic things? You've met other people yourself - Elise, Charlie, the theatre's crew; who I'm dead sure that would have helped you anytime you'd have asked. In comparison to them, am I useless to you?" My glare stung his.

Nezumi seemed to take into consideration my words. He sunk his slapped cheek deeper in the pillow and tightened his grip around me.

"No." He muttered. I was surprised by his docility. I actually expected him to punch me back, but the hit never came. Emotionally speaking, I guessed he was pretty much at the edge himself. There were also Elise's words that upheld it.

_'__We used to have sex when we felt lonely, left alone at the end of the world with no one caring about our lives. Take care of him, Shion. I can tell he is in distress, there are some bad things that have been troubling him recently – he probably needs you the most right now.'_

Lonely was a strong word, but Nezumi's sudden affection towards me couldn't make me think otherwise. I squeeze him hardly as I started to talk again.

"Alec, Eva, my co-workers are all good people. They would friendly advice you, comfort you with encouraging words, hugs, cooked meals, tickets to different events. I don't think I need that kind of comfort when it comes down to Karan. When she passed away a part of my humanity died alongside her. And the only one who could revive such a thing is you."

He gave me a relieved look, and then closed his eyes entirely, driving away the long accumulated tension from his body. I buried myself deeper in his embrace and remembered for another minute Nezumi's attitude during the night. But I fell into slumber sooner than expected.

* * *

_Thunk. Click. Squeak. Click. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._

I had no time to process all the sounds as a hand grabbed my mouth and an arm clenched around my torso. My first instinct was to bite hard, but my lips could hardly move under such strong imprisonment. I next tried to move my arms and legs, but when the movement became too violent a pair of soft lips washed two words along my ear lobe.

"Stay calm."

As Nezumi's voice tone reached me, my body calmed instantly.

"Someone broke in." He explained; I tensed.

Through the thin texture of our clothes I could feel Nezumi's regular heartbeat, while mine was hastily rushed.

_"Are you sure he's out?" _The whisper of a man came behind the bedroom's door. The sounds of his footsteps were as clear as the day.

_"He hasn't been in town for a year now."_ Another voice came hoarsely. Even through a whisper, his tone was very grave and powerful.

_"Boss, are you sure we'll find anything here? He must be quite clever if he had killed boss's precious wife." _

I froze. Did he mean me? Did I kill someone? I couldn't. Were they mistaken? Did they get the wrong apartment? As I was deep affected by his words, Nezumi didn't seem to give them much thought. He released me from his grip and pulled me out of bed. My eyes started to accustom to the darkness as Nezumi dragged me beside the door, holding my hand as if his life depended on that.

Through the thin walls that separated us, the suspicious men's conversation found a clear path towards our ears.

_"That brat can't hurt a fly if you ask me." _The grave voice cut our breaths.

_"Mmm, he looks quite deceiving. That white demon has unusual features; I wonder how many beds he 'wet' before reaching his actual position." _The other answered.

_"Heh? I bet you want to fuck him too."_

_ "You bet right. Though I think it would be damn difficult. He has a sharp tongue, one of a hell I would say! He appeals to hungry men, not delicate women. Hm… I wonder how he managed to get her."_

I trembled in fear realizing that I was the subject of their dispute. I felt repulsed, disgusted, deserted and flustered all together. Despite all that, I wanted to see Nezumi's reaction, but a new voice cut easily through my thoughts.

_"He didn't kill her directly."_ He must have been the 'boss'. _"He is the seed of Devil. Destroying a utopian city for the mere sake of the freedom of thought, maybe he is the Devil himself. Implanting the abstruse idea of the merger between the educated citizens of No.6 with the rats outside the wall was similar to forgiving the sins of the criminals and releasing them from the prisons in the peaceful streets of a city. So many robbers, thieves, killers hover on the streets… My darling was the victim of such brutality."_

I had no time to think because the loud footsteps stopped in front of our door.

_"Hey, boss, there is another room here."_

The other two men approached and stopped before pressing the knob. Nezumi let go of my hand and when the door swung open, he jumped from the darkness and knocked down the man. The other two took a few steps back in surprise as the one who hit the floor let out a gruesome scream. Nezumi grabbed the head of the man and stroke it harder to the floor. Although I couldn't see it clearly, the smell of blood penetrated my nostrils like poison. Before the other two could act, Nezumi turned and brutally rent at them.

The blade of a knife appeared from one's pocket, but Nezumi was faster, seizing him from behind and gripping his hand so hard that the man winced in pain. The knife fell on the floor, and before the other one could grab it, Nezumi moved his foot between the seized man's legs and threw it to the other side of the room. After that, Nezumi's leg moved upwards and hit the man's 'soft spot' so hard, that his limbs gave in and he rolled in pain on the floor.

Seeing that he stood no chance in front of Nezumi, not to speak in the darkness, the single standing man wanted to run in his own cowardice. I could see Nezumi's slight devilish smile as he caught his arm. His eyes were colder than the steel and the movements of his body only showed the enjoyment of inflicting pain. The man knelt in pain as Nezumi was ready to break his bones.

I had to put a stop on this before he killed anybody in that room. I rushed at him and grabbed his hand. There was madness in his eyes.

"Nezumi. Stop."

"No."

"Nezumi."

He gripped harder and pulled the man's arm forward. The sound of the creaking bones stung my ears.

"Nezumi! Stop right now!"

And I pushed myself into him so hard so that we fell down on the ground. I grabbed both of his hands and shot him a serious glare.

"Nezumi, you have to stop, otherwise you will end up killing them."

He had a strange dark aura surrounding him. His contorted smile was only grotesque on his beautiful pale face.

"Why? You heard them, didn't you? They think you whored yourself; they see you as the Devil because you granted them a freedom that only their pitiful God could ever grant; they even blame you for the deaths of their beloved. What do they know about you? What right do they have? I'll put them to silence, just to make sure their dirty mouths won't ever spill another word related to you."

I put more force in my gripping, seeing how far mad-driven was Nezumi by their words, and turned my head rapidly.

"You, fools! Get up and run before he kills you all. Run as fast as you can and never come back. I'll try to hold him down."

I sensed another smile from Nezumi. "Hold me down? Why, Shion?" His expression went blank. He really couldn't sympathize with me.

"Nezumi. There are many others like them, even worse than them. When the wall fell, wasn't it clear that as long as there were many who would be happy, there would be others who would oppose? Isn't it how the world works? Didn't you teach me that?"

I feel the three men rising from the ground and rushing towards the entrance door. I sighed in relief. Nezumi watched in their direction.

"I want to break their legs."

"To accomplish what?"

"My burning desire of crushing them."

"You would crush my heart and mind too."

He looked at me confused. "I don't get you." His eyes started to slowly regain their warmth as the minutes passed. "But I don't want to see you angry at me either."

He relaxed and I watched him resiliently, wondering whether he gave up the idea of killing those or not.

"I won't do anything. Get off." He ordered. I stood up and watched him in reluctance as he moved towards the door. We both went outside and realized it was nearly dawn.

The door of the apartment from my left cracked slightly and a slender, tall man came out. As he turned to face us the first thing that came into my vision was the _complete heterochromia _that his eyes revealed. With the left one brown, the other was hazel. It was my first time seeing it, Nezumi was himself taken aback. On top of that, he was a natural blond, a rare sight in No.6. I had unusual features, Nezumi was beautiful and elegant for a man, but the young man that stood before us looked like from a different dimension.

He approached us smilingly.

"I heard some strange noises from the next door and I was wondering if there was a fight of something. Are you two alright?" As he was talking, Nezumi didn't move his eyes from his. He was staring hard, but the strange man didn't seem to be bothered.

"Y-Yes, we are. Someone broke in, but they left before realizing we were there. I've been away for a year now, so there was nothing they could steal from this shabby apartment." I smiled and the man looked relieved.

The door cracked again and another man, still in pajamas, came forward.

"What's with all the ruckus?" The night still lingered around us, so I couldn't exactly see all of the man's features, but I was pretty sure he was in a way similar to Nezumi. Being as tall as him, with equal grey eyes and the usual cold expression, the black short hair was the only thing that one would have called a difference.

Nezumi was still bewildered with the lithe man's eyes. He didn't spare a glance to the other. But when the beautiful man turned around, Nezumi seemed as woken from a dream.

"Oh, I wouldn't have thought you would wake up. Apparently someone broke in our neighbors' apartment."

"Oh." He said, eyeing me and Nezumi for a second and then returning his gaze to his living partner. "If that's all, then get back or you'll catch a cold dressed like that."

The strange-eyed man followed accordingly and went back to his apartment, as the other one was watching him cautiously. He gave us another glance, and then slammed the door.

"What's with that guy? Is he normal?" Nezumi suddenly asked.

"It's a genetic condition. It's pretty rare; it was also my first time seeing it."

Nezumi didn't speak anymore. I was glad that his mind was sent off on something else now rather than killing those pricks. It was a given, really.

I went back to my apartment and Nezumi followed still in a daze. My mind was stuck on the horrid thoughts and feelings of those powerless men that were nearly killed by Nezumi's anger. I was in such a wavering state, I felt like I couldn't tell anymore the wrong from the right.

* * *

So, new characters had been revealed. Leave a comment and tell me what you think of Eva, Alec and the two men from next door.


	8. Chapter 7

Finally done with Chapter 7 *grin*.

_** Aglie**_, Hello. Regarding your question, yes, Nezumi is in a way afraid of Shion's life in No.6. More like he's afraid of the relationships he has built during these four years. It's natural for Nezumi to want to completely monopolize Shion, giving that he was the first one to show the boy the true colors of reality. He was practically his first mentor, friend, enemy and experienced with him many other types of relationships. When he sees that Shion met and created new connections with people, he feels insecure, thinks that Shion might abandon him one day.

Regarding this chapter, I'll give special thanks to my lovely beta, **color2413**.

* * *

_**Chapter 7:**_

Nezumi rested silently on the armchair while twiddling his thumbs. His body language betrayed distress but his face was unusually calm and composed; even his eyebrows didn't reveal any sign of a frown.

"Nezumi."

My voice didn't produce any reaction. He deliberately chose to remain lost in thought.

"Your brain is going to rot from so much thinking. Stop it already." The twiddling stopped and made room for a deep gaze; his eyes searched mine. "Good. Good. Now that you are no longer ignoring me, would you care to tell me what's keeping your mind so far away from reality?"

Nezumi squeezed his eyes and put his head on the back of his hand. The man's elbow rested uncomfortably on the chair's wooden arm.

"Why would someone want to attack an airhead like you?"

The seriousness of his tone prevented the insult from angering me.

"Do you think they knew who I was?"

"From their conversations, yes. They called you 'white demon'. How many young people with white hair do you know in No.6?"

"And what makes you think that he's young? Maybe they were after some old man."

Nezumi fixed his severe eyes on me and then laughed sardonically.

"How many old men do you know who are capable of 'wetting' beds to reach a social position?"

I blushed for no reason. Though a bit embarrassed that I didn't remember much from last night, I was too shocked to pay attention to such apparently meaningless conversations between some thugs who tried to break into my house.

"Well, maybe they were searching for me, after all."

"Not for you, but for something else that is in here."

"There is nothing here."

"Exactly the reason why I've been neglecting His Highness," Nezumi smirked, although the perversion it implied was unjustified. The expression in his eyes held different connotations from before. The man pierced me expectantly. He raised his arm as if to signal his desires, and the gesture subconsciously invited me to come closer. I shortened the space between us with small steps until our knees brushed together. His raised armed curled on my back, making it bend slightly. Nezumi rested his head on my chest and drove his breath lower and lower. It easily penetrated the thin fiber of the cloth and sent pleasure all over my body. As if a sudden urge had coursed through his body, he shifted assertively and lifted my shirt with his forehead, pressing two lusty lips on my abdomen. The unusual tenderness made my limbs weak, ready to give in, and made me fall to my knees. Sensing my body's reaction, he embraced me with both arms and parted his legs to make enough room for me. The moisture of his lips reached my belly button, which Nezumi chose to caress with great care. My breaths became irregular and the reactions intensified and grew more distinct. With trembling arms, I reached for Nezumi's head, with one hand brushing his hair and with another lifting his chin. There was nothing but lascivious desire in his eyes.

But then he stopped and rested his chin on my belt buckle, as if he had suddenly realized something.

"Shion?"

I watched him, as the toughness in his eyes grew stronger with each word.

"If anyone tries to do something to you, anything, I'll break their legs and skin them alive. You needn't be afraid of anything. Walk straight down your path and think of my words: I will always protect you."

I wanted to get angry. My conscience, my pacifism wanted to, but _I_ didn't. It wasn't that I didn't care about those who would suffer from Nezumi's anger, but because I was bewildered by such straightforwardness and sincerity coming from him, I completely dismissed what one would call morality.

"Then, when the time comes, I'll do the same. If anyone ever dares to hurt you, I'll do the same; I'll treat them with the same hatred, so that we can be even. "

Nezumi pondered my feelings carefully. He understood that by agreeing to this, we would face each other as equals.

He buried his face on my shirt and spoke. "Then I'll try my hardest to not let myself get hurt."

I was more than happy, I felt like things had finally started to turn in our favor. We still had many disputes, many unsolved problems, ones still unrevealed to each other, but we also had made a few steps towards their resolution.

But more than that, I wanted him, in that very moment, to continue from where we'd left off. We still craved the intimate touch of each other's flesh; he still gazed at me intensely. I put both of my hands around his neck and encouraged him to continue.

Then a loud knock on the door disrupted the atmosphere. It was as if reality had slapped me in the face. Suddenly, all the things that we were doing and were about to do struck me as being ridiculous. I shook my head as if this could clear it. I wanted it to be refilled with some sort of peace and cleanliness.

I put my hand on his shoulder and tried to break free from his grip, but Nezumi seemed to be unmovable.

"Nezumi, let go."

"No."

"No?"

"I don't want to."

"There is someone at the door."

"So?"

"So I have to answer."

"Who says?"

"I say! Nezumi, let go!" His firm grip grew stronger. "You are being stupid. What are you, some spoiled brat?"

Another knock followed.

"Nezumi, I swear I'll bite your nose if you don't let go." I was surprised by Nezumi's persistence, given that he was clearly dragged out of the mood. The man had become rather angry and possessive.

"Haven't anyone taught you not to reveal your next move to your adversary? Now I can defend myself."

"That was supposed to be a threat?"

"Shion, I swear by the mother of Gods that if you don't fucking answer the damn door, I'll break it into small pieces and shove them down your throat!" A loud shout came from behind the door and the knocking grew stronger, louder; as if the person behind the door really intended to break it.

When I felt him grip me less strongly, I immediately jerked away and run to the door. That voice could belong to none other than…

"Inukashi!" I said smilingly, trying to cope with her anger.

" 'Inukashi' my ass! Why weren't you opening the door?"

I clearly couldn't tell her the real reason.

"I didn't hear you from the start, sorry. My bad."

She sighed without believing a word.

"You are the worst liar I've ever met. Anyway, I'd heard you'd come back." Inukashi pushed the door, creating a bigger gap so that she could come inside. The first thing that her eyes laid on was a sulking Nezumi on the couch.

"Ah, so you've brought the bum back. Didn't I tell you to let this good-for-nothing rot whenever you find him?"

Nezumi stood up and scanned Inukashi thoroughly. Her old chestnut hair now had sable-black shades, and the way it flowed down her shoulders indicated a new haircut. Her collarbones were no longer as visible as they were four years ago, but she remained slim, tanned and wasp-waisted, and she still exuded a aura of assertiveness. Her brown eyebrows were slightly arched, as she was still processing Nezumi's presence. Even so, I was sure that the first things that Nezumi's eyes landed on were her breasts. Compared to what they had looked like before, they were now rather… enormous? Yes, that was the right word to describe them.

"Look how good mother nature was to you," Nezumi said. The meanness in his tone belied the compliment.

Inukashi glanced at him quizzically. Nezumi sighed.

"No wonder that postman is dating you. Your body compensates for your nasty personality."

Inukashi was fuming already. "Watch your tongue, you stupid mouse! Butt into my business and I'll make sure you'll regret the day you were born!"

Nezumi lifted both of his hands theatrically and moved his head from side to side.

"Exactly what I was talking about. Poor boy, I'll bet he has no idea how vulgar you are."

"Are you saying that I'm selling myself?"

Nezumi shrugged, which only increased Inukashi's anger. They were ready to jump at each other's throats, but I stepped between them and tried to act as a peacemaker.

"Both of you, that's enough! I'm sure you're excited to see each other, but I'd rather not see you fighting." I paused slightly, than continued. "Inukashi, why are you here?"

Nezumi reclaimed his place on the couch, and Inukashi directed her attention to my question, as if she had remembered something.

"Right. I want to leave the town for a few days, so I need you to take care of SJ."

"Leave town? You've never done that."

"So? Is there a problem?"

"No, but why?"

"He insisted. Said we had to have a" little escapade" from time to time. "

"Sounds like Joshua. Then we'll come with you and take SJ."

Inukashi looked at me skeptically. "Try to keep him as far away from that worm as you can. I don't want SJ to catch any weird disease."

Nezumi stepped forward. He looked intrigued, but also annoyed that he had been left out of the conversation. "Who is SJ?" he asked me genuinely.

"Shionn Junior."

Nezumi's perplexed feeling deepened.

"Do you remember that during the Hunt we saved a little baby and sent him to Inukashi?"

Nezumi's face widened in pure surprise. "That thing is still alive?"

I frowned and hit him furiously on the shoulder. "He's not a 'thing'. And yes, he is still alive; Inukashi has been taking care of him ever since."

"I definitely don't want SJ near Nezumi." Inukashi looked straight into my eyes with such seriousness that for a second, I was taken aback.

"You don't have to…"

"Shion, promise me."

"But…"

"Promise."

"AH! Enough already! You don't want me near that brat, fine. I don't want to be near him either. " Nezumi passed between us, took his jacket, and left the room with a loud slam of the door.

Inukashi didn't say anything; she looked rather content. After a while, she spoke again. "Good. Good, that's good. Let's go back to my apartment; Joshua said he could only take care of SJ for a half-hour."

I nodded, and we departed. My mind was still on the infuriated Nezumi, who had left so abruptly.

We didn't live far from each other, so we arrived in less than half an hour. I had chosen my apartment based on the distance between our houses. I felt responsible for forcing an infant on her. Whenever it came down to SJ, I gave her my full support, morally and financially.

Joshua and SJ were playing hide-and-seek when he walked in.

"Shion! Oh my god, Inukashi, you were right; he really came back!" Joshua walked quickly in our direction. "SJ! Guess who's back!"

A five years old child leapt out of the closet, his big blue eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Shion!" he yelled cheerfully and ran towards me, completely forgetting that he was to remain hidden until Joshua found him. He clung to my leg and demanded to be held in my arms. I caught him by his hips and after I raised his tiny body into the air, he let out a childish giggle. After holding him a few seconds like that, I hugged him with all my might. I had missed him.

"SJ! Have you been a good boy while I was gone?"

He nodded. Inukashi brushed his hair with her hand.

"SJ, do you want to stay with Shion for a few days?"

"Yes!" the boy responded without second thought.

Inukashi showed him a warm smile and kissed his head. This kind of behavior was something that she showed only to him; not even Joshua was given such warm treatment.

"I would like to stay more and tell you about my… adventures, if they could be called that, but I only arrived yesterday and I have a lot of things to take care of."

Joshua looked disappointed. Inukashi didn't react.

"Too bad, then some other time. Bye-bye, SJ." Joshua smiled at SJ and SJ smiled back.

"Don't be a troublemaker, SJ," Inukashi said, giving him another kiss on the head and holding his little hands tightly.

After saying my good-byes, I left the apartment, put SJ down, and walked hand in hand with him towards the bazaar to shop for groceries. Nezumi and I could easily pass the days with pretty much anything that was edible, but SJ was a different story.

As I was buying the necessary food for the next few days, I wished to catch a glimpse of a certain tall, grey-eyed and longhaired man, but Nezumi didn't seem to be within my sight. I didn't really have a plan regarding the promise that Inukashi had forced me to accept. Keeping SJ away from Nezumi would require Nezumi and me to live separately—something that was definitely not going to happen. After four years of solitude, even Nezumi, who was usually full of himself, wouldn't agree to that.

Preoccupying my mind with these thoughts, I barely noticed the man who came towards us, ready to steal our bag. When he was about to do that, I jerked my hand from SJ's and caught the thief's arm. Surprised, his ugly face contorted and he tried to grab the bag with his free hand, but I pushed myself onto him so hard that both of us fell on the ground. A few people stopped walking and stared expectantly at us, excited by seeing a fight. Such is the nature of man.

I pressed my arm on his neck and his eyes become hazy from lack of the oxygen. He struggled and tried to speak, but I didn't let him go until he had completely surrendered. By the time that air had penetrated his lungs, there were tears coming down his cheeks. Shaking, he pulled himself up and ran for his life, scurrying down the road until he turned right towards a narrow alley.

I looked at SJ, who stood petrified in front of me and was ready to cry.

"SJ, are you alright? I'm sorry you had to see this. Come on, don't cry, let's go home. I'll make you something yummy, and then we'll play hide-and-seek."

I talked slowly, so he could process every word and escape from the miserable state he was in.

I carried him in my arms until we reached the apartment. Apparently, my concern about Nezumi was unjustified because, as much as I believed that he would get lost and would wait a whole day to come back, when I opened the door, he was lying still on the sofa with his eyes closed.

I put the grocery bag in the kitchen, and when I looked at SJ, he was fast asleep. It would have hurt my heart to rob him of his calmness, so I carried him to the bedroom and let him sleep on the comfy mattress.

Back in the living room, I approached the sofa and looked at Nezumi. He was not sleeping.

"Nezumi."

He didn't open his eyes, nor did he part his lips to say something.

"Are you mad?" I placed myself at the edge where Nezumi rested his legs. I put two fingers on his knees and played with them in circles.

His eyes opened at the sudden touch. "I'm not mad. Where is the brat?"

"It's not 'brat'. His name is SJ, and he is in the bedroom, sleeping."

"I hope he's sleeping on your pillow. I don't want any drool on my part."

I stopped moving my fingers and instead hit his thigh harder than I first had intended. He winced in pain.

"Why did you do that? Has Inukashi's barbaric attitude already influenced you that much?"

"Ha-ha, what a joke. Stop messing around and act your age." Nezumi laughed a little at my infuriated face and, as a sign of apology, withdrew his legs so that I could sit more comfortably. I placed my head on his lifted knees and looked at him, throwing fake vibes of anger.

"What do you think of Inukashi?" My question took him by surprise. Nezumi opened his mouth to make one of his smart-ass comments, but I stopped him before proceeding. "I'll hit you again, seriously now."

He thought seriously for a second. "Well, I was surprised that she knocked, twice even."

"Yes, she's shapelier than before. I wish you saw her with SJ or Joshua; you'd say she is a completely different person. Well, her natural instincts activated when she saw you, obviously. "

"She hates me. I hate her. I call that a mutual understanding."

"Nezumi, she's one of your few friends. Cope with that."

Nezumi arched his brow, puzzled. "Shion, I don't have friends. And even if I had, Inukashi would be the last one to be called that."

"Elise is your friend."

Nezumi sent another look. "Do you really think that? I feel sorry for you."

I thought for a while. "I guess you're right. Someone you sleep with isn't called a 'friend', but I don't think she is far from that."

Nezumi grew pale and his grey eyes expanded as he processed the information. I could see how emotion dominated his body. His dry lips parted and his tongue darted out involuntarily to moisten them. But the feeling's lifespan was short. He regained his composure as rapidly as he had lost it.

"So she told you."

"Sort of," I agreed, driving one of my hands through my disheveled hair. My bun had come loose, and longs strips of hair now floated down my shoulders.

"I think you should cut your hair," Nezumi suggested.

"Hm… I'll think about it. Did you like her? Elise, I mean." Nezumi was accusing me of intruding into his private life. I thought that was unreasonable of him—ridiculous actually.

"What? Are you going to give me a lecture about how I should have sex only with the person I _'love'_?" His derisive laugh was becoming familiar to me and I had started to become immune to it.

"No, I won't lecture you; that will make me a hypocrite. " He eyed me carefully and considered my confession.

"Is that why you became so violent? Were you having S&M sex behind my back? " I dug my nails into his skin and scolded him with just a glance.

"I have never taken part into such barbaric action," I said.

"You don't sound too convincing."

"Nezumi!" It was obvious that my imagination was working against me. The faces of the women I'd slept with appeared before me, and the image combined with Nezumi's abstruse implication. My face was completely red, and I despised how Nezumi had gotten so much joy just from seeing it. "Stop messing around with my head, you devil."

The man looked at me and then burst into such joyful laughter that I couldn't help but stare. Nezumi was _laughing. _Not giggling, not smirking, not even that maniacal, derisive laugh. It was simply _joie de vivre_.

After a while, he stopped and looked at me. "You are the most amusing person I've met. I feel that it has become my nature to tease you endlessly."

"Ha-ha. For insulting the owner of this house, you'll have to make lunch."

"Lunch? With what? Love and air?"

"I bought food on my way back."

"Fine then, I bet your cooking is as horrible as ever anyway."

He stood up from the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. I followed him and watched for more than half an hour as he prepared soup and beef stew for the three of us. It took no longer than a minute for SJ to come into the room, attracted by the delicious smell.

"It smells so good! What's this?"

Startled, Nezumi turned towards the tiny body that produced the sound. His brows continued frowning as SJ looked impatiently at him, waiting for an answer.

"SJ, this is Nezumi. Nezumi, this is SJ. "

SJ smiled. "Hello, Nezumi-san. Nice to meet you." The boy spoke formally, which made Nezumi to turn up his nose in slight disgust. When the boy started drooling, the man instantly moved his eyes on me, but the only thing he got back was a death-glare.

He returned his attention to SJ and scanned the boy. After a while, he responded, "yeah, I'm Nezumi."

The boy grinned contently. "What are we going to eat?"

"Soup and stew."

"I love eating soup."

Nezumi turned, grabbed some bowls from the counter and started to pour soup. His hands were a bit shaky, and his eyes wandered amidst us. Nezumi's tension was inexplicable, and it was unfortunate that I couldn't ask him why on the spot.

We ate, and the only sounds that we heard were SJ's exclamations regarding the food's taste. When we finished, the boy was vibrant, exuding energy and life. He couldn't stay put and jolted from one corner of the table to the other.

"Let's play hide-and-seek!" he suddenly suggested.

When Nezumi sent him a ludicrous look and was ready to argue about the foolishness of the idea, I stepped forward and gladly accepted his invitation.

"Yay! Then Shion and I will hide and Nezumi will have to find us!" SJ didn't wait for Nezumi to turn around and count; he simply left the room at an alarming pace. When he was out of sight, Nezumi turned to me.

"Seriously? Do you really expect me to play such a stupid game?"

"Yes. If he doesn't exhaust his energy, we won't able to sleep at night. Children are hyperactive."

"In my day, children hid in a dumpster and waited for you to pass so they could steal your food."

"Well, times have changed. Stop talking like an old man and start counting. I'm going to hide."

Nezumi smirked deviously. "Hide as much as you want. I'll find you even at the end of the world."

"Let me see you try, first!" And I walked out of the room myself.

First round was child's play for Nezumi. He found both me and SJ in less than a minute, and the stupid smirk on Nezumi's face only made SJ more anxious to not get discovered. Once, twice, thrice—it was impossible to hide from Nezumi, so SJ and I decided to make Nezumi hide instead so that SJ had to find us. Of course, Nezumi insisted on hiding in the most absurd places where SJ never could have found us, which made him panic and cry. Playing hide-and-seek with two overenthusiastic males? I would have to reconsider that in the future.

As the night approached, the game had to end. It was the last round, where Nezumi and SJ had to hide. Although skepticism was clouding Nezumi's brow, after a few motivational speeches I convinced him to work with us.

"Five… four… three… two… one!"

Knowing Nezumi's ability to sneak behind people's backs without their sensing or hearing him, I searched every counter in the kitchen. As my luck seemed to have left me, I went directly to the bedroom, aware that neither the living room nor the bathroom had any vacant space for Nezumi to hide. My plan was to find him first, so that both of us would have to search for SJ.

I stood on my knees and looked below the bed, but the only thing I found was dust. Standing on my feet, I searched the room with my eyes, which eventually landed on the closet.

"Found you!" I had barely opened the doors when two hands dragged me forward and forced me in. Someone's body was pressing fiercely onto mine.

"Nezumi, I'm going to suffocate."

"I won't let you; stay calm."

His breath brushed my lips, and a tingling sensation of joy coursed through me.

"Nezumi, lets find SJ."

He shot me a look. "I hate that brat."

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do. He's a sneaky bastard."

"_You_ are a sneaky bastard, not SJ."

"Why so?"

"You were waiting here, preparing an ambush for when I came."

He smirked, but I cut him loose and got out of the narrow space. "Let's find him first."

Nezumi sent me a mental compliant, but went to the living room to search for him. I went to the bathroom, but there was no sign of the lively boy. Feeling a bit uneasy, I went to Nezumi, expecting him to be with SJ, but the child wasn't there either. We searched once again in the kitchen, went back to the living room, then back to the bedroom, but the kid was nowhere to be found.

The more I looked around, the more agitated I got. The panic intensified when I saw Nezumi helplessly give up looking.

"SJ? I give up! Where are you?"

I looked all over the place, expecting him to pop up from anywhere, but it was only my imagination that fed such hope.

"SJ!" I screamed.

"He isn't here. Stop shouting already!" Nezumi yelled, looking very angry.

"Why? So you can yell at me?!" I was angry myself and I lost it for a second. I placed my hand of my face and tried to regain my composure, but the only thing that I saw before me was the empty place that lacked SJ's presence.

Nezumi sent me an apologetic look. "Let's not lose it. Maybe he went outside."

"Right, Right. Outside. "

I grabbed my jacket with a trembling hand and threw the door open, but I immediately bumped into somebody and, if Nezumi hadn't been behind me, I would have fallen on the ground.

"Shion!"

SJ's voice resonated into my ears. I looked in front of me and two eyes, one brown, the other hazel, made me jump back and step on Nezumi's foot. It took me a full second to process the entire scene.

The neighbor from last night was standing in front of us, holding SJ in his very thin arms.

"Perhaps you were looking for him?" the man said with an unnerving smile.

"Yes, thank God! SJ, are you alright? What happened?" I grasped him from the stranger's arms and hold him tightly, kissing both of SJ's cheeks. "You made us worry!"

"I thought so. This little guy came to my place not long ago and asked me if he could hide inside my apartment. I guess he just didn't want to be found."

When I looked at the man again, I observed for the first time the bruises he had near his mouth and left eye. Nezumi glared at him suspiciously.

"Thank you, really, we really panicked when we couldn't find him. If there is anything we could do to return the favor..."

"Actually, there is something you could do…"


End file.
